Hermione's Wounds
by RavenAmeraDreams
Summary: Completed, but will be taken down soon. This story is being revised and rewritten with the title "Hermione's Wounds: Reopened" under the same username. Please read that instead. Thank you!
1. Blade's Rocognition

A/N: Hullo all, this is my first fic, and I have just revised my first chapter. I hope this will suit y'alls likings better. I've tried quite hard on this fic, so I hope you'll enjoy it. Thanks! (Oh, please R&R)  
  
As usual, we can find the trio sitting in the common room in their favorite chairs next to the fire. Ron and Harry are playing wizard chess as Hermione reads a book while, every so often, ridiculing them for not studying or doing their homework. Hermione stood, "I'm going to rest a bit before dinner...I didn't get much sleep last night...all that homework."  
  
"Alright mate, we'll wait for you before we head down." Harry replied while Ron egged on his pawn to take out Harry's knight. "AW! Come on! It's just a pawn!" Harry exclaimed as his knight was swept off the board.  
  
"Yes!" Ron exclaimed. "See-you, Hermy!" Ron said, recalling what Hagrid's 'little' brother called Hermione in their fifth year.  
  
"I told you not to call me that!" She glared at Ron before smiling and exiting to the girls' dormitories. As soon as she was out of her best friends' sight, she let her façade slip off. She became solemn and sad. She reached the 7th year girls' dormitory and walked in without a word to the others. She walked straight to her bed and closed the hangings. The other girls paid no mind; they were used to this, so they just left Hermione alone. She made one last appearance as she set her wand on her nightstand before disappearing behind her hangings.  
  
She sat for a while staring at pictures in her album, before she realized, tears began to blur her vision. The hurt and pain she had felt and ignored for so long became too much. She sobbed into her pillow which soon became soaked with tears. Over the summer, her overly strict parents decided to inform her that she had been adopted.  
  
Furthermore, her favourite grandparents had died due to a car accident caused by a drunken driver. They had always treated so kindly, and they were the ones she went to whenever her parents told her the horrible news about her being adopted. They always told her, 'It's the magic inside that counts,' yet they never knew she was a witch. She swore to herself that they were truly related, even if she was not related to her dreadful parents.  
  
And to add to the pain, she knew the one who had killed them, he was a childhood friend of hers, was under aged to even drive, and had told her that they were just too old anyway; an he was just helping them along in the process of dying. (He was high when he said this, but still...) He even had the nerve to come to their funeral and laugh. She had always had a crush on him until this point, now she hated him, and he had deprived her of the only 'family' she had outside of Hogwarts. (In her opinion, that is)  
  
She also had the N.E.W.T.S coming up this year, being her seventh, and she was worried about what profession she wanted to take up once she left Hogwarts, (of course, the N.E.W.T.S have worried her since she first stepped into Hogwarts, but now they were so much closer and she didn't feel at all prepared...normal Hermione stress if you ask me, but everything else on top? Well, I think THAT IS a bad combination, Don't you?) which had been her home for the past 6 years. That's right; she was leaving Hogwarts after this year. The year she has no family outside of it and she has to leave it. Why? Why did everything have to happen this year?  
  
And, to top it all off, she realized that she had feelings for someone she could never have. He was the one she thought of when her grandparents had died. He was the one she wanted to hug. He was the one's who shoulder she wanted to cry on. She was the one she needed most. Harry. Harry Potter, the boy who lived and her best friend. She didn't want to jeopardize their friendship in any way, and even if she was willing to risk it, she'd never even stand a chance. Not against Cho and Parvati and all the other gorgeous girls that Harry could go out with. No, Harry only thought of her as a friend, and that's all that he'd ever think of her as.  
  
A/N: You know, it's a good thing she didn't think of Voldemort at this point, or else she'd be quite a bit more hysterical than she already is...don't y'all think?  
  
She sat up and began wiping her face of with her blankets before something on the shelf above her bed caught her eyes. A muggle tool called a razor; she had brought it with her to Hogwarts because she hated using the scouring charm that most of the girls used to rid them selves of unwanted hair.  
  
Suddenly a documentary she had watched over the summer on mental illnesses found in Muggles sparked in her head. One of such illnesses in particular came to the front of her mind, one she had pondered over and over before now. This such illness was called self-mutilation, the need to inflict wounds upon ones-self.  
  
She picked up the razor and examined it closely. 'A safety razor, right?" She snapped the plastic off easily. "Yeah right...' She held the blade close to her face between her index finger and thumb. 'Looks pretty sharp, now...let's see exactly what this can do.' She brought her wrist into the light and pressed the razor on her skin slightly. She squeezed her eyes closed hard and clenched her teeth tightly as she swiped the blade across her arm in the same manner as someone swiping a credit card. "Huh? Did it-' She looked down in the middle of her statement and gasped in awe. Blood was slowly trickling from her cut onto her pillow.  
  
"Wow...that's amazing...And I didn't even feel it!" Hermione exclaimed before lifting the blade to her wrist again, this time pressing harder. She watched herself quickly slash her wrist as a larger wound opened up and let blood pour all over her beddings.  
  
She paused for a moment and smiled sweetly at her artwork, the razor was her brush, the cur her paint, and her blood the finished piece. Her heart beat rapidly with the adrenaline rush that her actions caused. The feeling was new, exhilerating actually, and she smiled at the idea of her newfound happiness.  
  
She brought the blade to her wrist again, but before she could cut, her hangings opened slightly and Lavender Brown's head peeked around them. "Hey, Hermione, we were about to head down to dinner, you think you want t- "She cut herself short as she stared at the frozen Hermione's wrist. She gasped before her gaze reached Hermione's face, shock covering her own.  
  
"Lavender, I can...explain..."Hermione tried to no avail, Lavender quickly closed the hangings and ran off to join the other girls. Hermione heard her tell the others, "She said she's coming down later. She just wants to freshen up first."  
  
Hermione opened her hangings just as Lavender gave her a nervous and saddened glance before shutting the dormitory door. Hermione sighed and grabbed her wand, immediately casting a cleaning charm on her blood-soaked beddings. "I wasn't counting on that." She stood beside her bed and straightened her robes before heading down to the common room to meet Harry and Ron for dinner.  
  
"We were about to leave without you Hermione! I bet all the food's gone now, and I'm hungry!" Ron complained as soon as Hermione closed to door to the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories.  
  
"Sorry..." Hermione replied quietly, solemn-faced.  
  
"Harry gazed at her, surprised that she hadn't corrected Ron on the fact that the house-elves continuously replenish the food supply when it gets low during meals, so as to insure that the students didn't go without. He also noticed she had a glazed look in her eyes, the kind of look she usually got when thinking hard while studying or during exams, yet this one was somehow different.  
  
Ron had neither noticed this nor waited on them, as he was already outside the portrait hole waiting for them. Harry followed Hermione in joining him and the trio headed to the Great Hall for dinner.  
  
Harry noticed that Hermione stayed quiet during all of dinner, even throughout the discussion Ron started about house-elves. Harry was expecting her to start spouting off about S.P.E.W, but it seemed she hadn't even heard a word of it.  
  
Lavender passed next to them as she was on her way back up to Gryffindor tower and quickly whispered in Harry's ear. He nodded in reply and looked at Ron who had overheard. They both looked across the table at Hermione, but when she asked them what they wanted, they each returned to their plates.  
  
They al finished their desserts and stood up before heading back to the Gryffindor common room. They each took their preferred seats closest to the fire and pulled out spare parchment to begin their homework, soon the common room had cleared out except for the three and Crookshanks, whom Hermione was petting absentmindedly while checking over Harry and Ron's essays for Astronomy.  
  
Ron stretched and yawned before announcing he was going up to bed, giving Harry a quick look before closing the door to the boys' staircase. Harry nodded then looked at Hermione. She was reading a book and Harry watched her until she set the book down and looked at him. "Yes? You need anything, Harry?" She asked before picking up her book again.  
  
Harry quickly grabbed her wrist as she reached for her book. He rolled up her sleeve and turned her wrist over so that it was facing palm up. He gasped then looked up at Hermione who was trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp. She looked worried and scared for a moment, a look that matched his own. He released her wrist and just stared at her. Finally he choked out, "Why?"  
  
She looked at him, rubbing her wrist tenderly. Crookshanks had jumped out of her lap and was wrestling with a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans while the two teens stared at each other, lost for words.  
  
"I...I..." Hermione started before standing and running to the girls' staircase.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Harry cried before running after her, he grabbed the hem of her robe just before she got out of his reach and pulled her back into the common room.  
  
"Please, Harry, just leave it, just let me go!" Hermione said, almost to the point of tears.  
  
"No, Hermione! I can't just sit back and let you do this to yourself! I care about you too much!" Harry said grabbing her around the waist to stop her from running off again.  
  
"What do you know, Harry? Let me go! Just leave me alone, like everyone else." She began crying and slumped to the floor.  
  
Harry sat on the floor next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, "What are you talking about Hermione?" he asked concernedly.  
  
"What do you care?" Hermione cried out sadly, busting into tears again.  
  
"I care plenty Hermione...You're my best mate." Harry replied. "And I can't let you do this to yourself." He grabbed her wrist and turned it over; he traced over the wounds with a sad, pained look on his face. "Promise me you won't ever cut your wrists again. Please?" He looked at her, with sad, sad eyes. "Please?"  
  
Hermione looked at his face and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry. Please...don't tell anyone. I'll stop, please, forgive me, Harry?"  
  
"Only if you promise to never cut your wrists again." He looked at her and took her hand. "Please Hermione? Don't do it again."  
  
Hermione nodded, aware that he had her hand and trying to push the thought out of her mind. 'It doesn't mean anything.' She looked at the ground.  
  
"Hermione, I want you to say it!" He squeezed her hand tightly.  
  
Hermione nodded reluctantly, "I promise I won't cut my wrists again. I promise you, Harry." She looked up just as he squeezed her in a tight bear hug.  
  
"Thank you, Hermione. I'm glad you not going to, I care about you too much then to let you hurt yourself like that."  
  
She hugged him back. "Thank you, Harry." 


	2. Trip to Hogsmeade

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. It means a bloody lot to me. Oh, and to answer your questions:  
  
HyperGurl1-As you can see now, it isn't a one-sot fic. I hope you like this chapter!  
  
RedHandedLillian-Yep, of course she is! I hope you like it!  
  
Hermione'sBoyfriend- I'm sorry, I meant for it to seem like she had just thought about it before, not done it before, and I'll try to go slower.  
  
Please, more reviews for this chapter than last chapter would be great! Read on, and enjoy!  
  
Hermione had been feeling significantly better since that night in the common room by the fire. Harry had made her feel like she had a chance; he made her feel wanted. She breathed a sigh as she awoke from another happy dream having to do with that memory. A month has passed since that night, and the first trip to Hogsmeade is today.  
  
Hermione climbed out of her bed, the sun just now filling its light into the room, and headed to the bathroom. There, she took a long relaxing bath before tying her hair up in a ponytail and heading to the common room.  
  
Hermione took a seat by the fire and stared into the flames, recalling that night again and again. Harry and Ron came into the room shortly after and the three headed down into the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
They discussed their plans for their trip into Hogsmeade. "We have to go to Honeydukes, I haven't had any wizard candy since my birthday," Harry decided to the others.  
  
"And Fred and George want me to get some things for them from Zonko's so they can compare their products." Ron explained.  
  
"Well, you know, we need to go to the bookstore also." Hermione added. "I've read all my books about a hundred times over; I think I want something a bit longer."  
  
"Longer? The last book you bought was over 10,000 pages!" Ron exclaimed, aghast.  
  
"Well, for your information, Ronald, it was exactly 13,457 and 2/9 pages long." Hermione stated, matter-o-factly.  
  
"Er...well, I think it's time for us to head outside." Harry said quickly, seeing another argument coming.  
  
The trio made their way into Hogsmeade with the rest of the school that was above second year. As soon as they got there, they made a beeline for Honeydukes.  
  
About a half hour later, the three left Honeydukes with mouths full and lighter moneybags. They headed to Zonko's after. "Oh, Fred and George's shop is a lot better than here, but still...Oh! Look at this!" Ron cried out while stuffing a ferret in Hermione's face. "It looks like Malfoy!" Ron said right before it changed back into a rubber ball. Ron bounced it and this time it changed into a Parrot.  
  
"You should get one of those to send to Fred and George, they'd appreciate it." Hermione said, while also grabbing some biting gloves. "How are they doing with their shop anyways?"  
  
Harry answered, "Oh, Weasley Wizarding Wheezes (A/N: that IS the name of it, right?)is going great! Zonko's better look out. They're getting some major competition!" He said after they had paid and were heading out of the shop.  
  
"Harry!" Suddenly a flash of shining black hair whipped past Ron and Hermione and tackled Harry in a tight hug.  
  
"Er...Hi, Cho. What are you doing here?" Harry asked, surprised to see the girl, for she had graduated the year before.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just; I heard Hogwarts was having a Hogsmeade trip today, so I came to see you!" Cho said fervently with a most excited expression on her face before dragging Harry off away from the others.  
  
Ron and Hermione stood there for a moment, staring after them. 'Great! Just great, now, once again, Harry has left me alone with Ron! Ugh! I'm sick of people asking if Ron and I go out!' Hermione stormed off to the bookstore before Ron had a chance to see where she was going.  
  
Ron and Hermione sat in the Great Hall, eating silently, still knowing not where Harry was. When they were about to stand and leave, Harry came red-faced and gasping into the Great Hall. He sat down with a huge smile and began eating quickly.  
  
"What happened mate? Did you two spend the whole day snogging?" Ron asked him, staring at him disbelieving. He'd never eat that quickly.  
  
"Slow down, Harry. You're going to make yourself sick!" Hermione warned; trying to compose herself, jealousy was seeping through her. She should have known, Harry still thought of her as a friend, only a friend. "Um...I'm going up to the dormitories, I'm tired." Hermione faked a yawn and excused herself. She headed to the Gryffindor tower alone, only a few first years were in the common room, the rest of the Gryffindors were still down in the Great Hall, talking and eating.  
  
She went into her room and started crying, mainly because she was mad with herself for ever believing she stood a chance, for ever fooling herself into that false hope. She despised herself for veing so utterly stupid. She continued weeping in anger. Suddenly everything became too much for the second time that year.  
  
She looked up and saw the razor blade still sitting on a shelf above her bed. 'No...I promised I wouldn't ever cut my wrists again. I promised Harry. Wait...' She looked down at her wrist's scars then pulled up her sleeves farther. 'I said I wouldn't cut my wrists...' She smiled as she grabbed the blade and started 'painting' again. 


	3. Holidays Start

A/N: Thanks again to the reviewers. I'm hoping to get a whole five reviews for this chapter!!! Well, I'm glad people are actually reading my fic. Thanks a lot to you all! I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast with this fic, but this is my first. I'm sorry, I'm an amateur. I just want to hit the major points in the story; I get bored with writing if nothing's going on. Well, in reply to your reviews:  
  
RedHandedLillian: I'm sorry, but I had to make that loophole, you know that. Thanks a bunch for reviewing both chapters. I'm trying to make long chapters, but I'm no good at writing. Sorry! I'll try harder. I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Avery-88: Thank you! Please continue reading! And reviewing, reviews make me keep writing.  
  
Sarah-elf Princess: Yes, I know it wouldn't just be over a guy she likes, that's why I added in the things of being adopted and her stress over N.E.W.T.S also (in the first chapter) I think I should have written in that she doesn't want to leave Hogwarts when this year is over. I think I'll add that to the first chapter right now, so, if you'd like, you can check that out again. Oh, and I have experience with this too. That's one of the reasons I'm writing this. Thanks for your review!  
  
ColorGaurdBaby23: I'm glad you got no further than scratching, I on the other hand...well, let's not go into that. Thanks for reviewing, it keep me writing!  
  
Well, on with the fic!  
  
Harry, Ron, and Herrmione took their seats at the Gryffindor table on the last day before Christmas holidays. "So, what are you doing for the holidays, Ron?" Harry asked while taking a bite of his roast beef.  
  
"Oh, well, the reason mom didn't invite you two to come with us this Christmas is because we're going to visit Charlie, you know, in Romania. It's taking Dad's whole paycheck for it..." Ron blushed at this last comment.  
  
"Well, that's completely understandable; trips around the world are also expensive. For anyone. I bet even the Malfoys would have trouble paying for all of it." Hermione assured him before putting some Yorkshire pudding on her plate. Ron replied with a smile and took a bite of his chicken leg.  
  
"So...what are you two doing for the holidays? Well, we know Harry is staying, but where are you going this year? Don't you go somewhere different with your parents every year?" Ron queried of them before devouring the rest of his chicken.  
  
"Oh, well, I thought I'd stay at Hogwarts this year..." Hermione said, not looking up. She wasn't ready to face her adoptive parents again. Not yet at least.  
  
"What!?!" Harry and Ron exclaimed together, thankfully, neither had any food in their mouths at the time. "You're not going home...that's a first." Ron added, feeling her forehead. "Are you sick?"  
  
Harry realized that Hermione didn't really want to pursue the subject, so he broke in before she could answer Ron's question. "Well, that's brilliant! Now I won't be alone!" Said Harry, slapping Hermione on the back. "Thanks mate!" And continued eating without another word, giving Ron a look not to continue the subject either.  
  
Hermione thanked Harry in her head and decided she needed to give him something extra for Christmas. She looked up and smiled at the two of them before serving herself some treacle tart.  
  
Harry and Hermione stood at the front doors to the school with Ron who had his trunk and Pigwidgeon's cage in hand. The carriages were pulling up to take the leaving students to Hogsmeade station. Hermione hugged him quickly and Harry slapped him on the back. "See-you, mate."  
  
"Have fun, and please, tell your parents I sad hi." Hermione said waving to him as he climbed into one of the carriages along with Luna Lovegood, Neville, and Ginny.  
  
"Alright, mates! Don't have too much fun with out me! Ron said before closing the door to the carriage and disappearing.  
  
The carriages moved away and Harry and Hermione watched them until they disappeared around the bend.  
  
"So, er...what do we do now?" Hermione asked, but was only answered with a snowball to the head. "Harry!" She retaliated quickly and they carried on with a snowball fight, including the rest of the stay-homers.  
The school was considerably quieter with the rest of the school gone, but it was still fun, nonetheless, Harry and Hermione spent their days playing wizard's chess (Harry won almost every time, for Herrmione had never played before), having snowball fights, visiting Hagrid, and anything else that they randomly thought of when they got bored.  
  
The holidays were altogether fun, but Christmas was another story. 


	4. Stupid Mistake

A/N: Hullo people, I would like to thank you personally for reviewing now-  
  
ColorgaurdBaby23: I hope you like this chapter too.  
  
RedhandedLillian: Why, because I'm just so evil. (insert evil laugh here) And oyu know she is. If she didn't, then I wouldn't have a story to write, no would I? Your reviews always make me laugh...please...keep reviewing. Thanks!  
  
MysticalSpirits: Thanks for putting my story on your favourites list, that makes me feel all happy inside! I'm glad my fic is helping you understand those people, I wish more people WOULD understand people that do it (like me). Your ideas are good, I might use them. Thanks so much!  
  
CrazyCruzet212: Thank you, I will, if YOU keep reading and reviewing.  
  
Avery-88: but what if I want a banana?  
  
Grantsbeetle- Thank you, I'm completely flattered. This is my first fic, so I wasn't expecting anyone to like it. Your review made me feel all happy! Oh, and, please don't die...then you can't read the next chapter.  
  
MonkeyFeet180: I like your name. Please don't hate me.  
  
FanJimmy: Well, here it is. Wait no more!  
  
ILoveKP: If y'all keep reviewing, then I'll keep writing!  
  
LeviYL: I'm sorry you don't like my story idea. I try hard, but, as I said, flames are accepted. I'll try to do something more to your liking next time.  
  
A/N: Thanks to all who review, and to those who just read, but please...review too, flames are welcome even. I think I'm going to redo the first chapter. I need more things 'happening' in Hermione's life; too many people have told me it's not enough. And I know it's not either, cuz, well, yeah, I'm one of those depressed people who hurts themselves (hence the name). So, I might do that before I get up a chapter five. Thanks to all who read, and if you'd like, please read another fic of mine- Dreamscapes. Oh, and I'd like it if someone could send the link to my story to . I'd REALLY appreciate that. Well, that's all, read on! (And review)  
  
For Christmas Eve, all the students gathered in the Great Hall to sit with the teachers at one table and have a hearty feast together. Everyone had fun popping crackers and singing carols off-key. Crookshanks chased some mice that came form one cracker and even got to sit in Snape's lap (A/N: Dun-dun-dun!), who didn't know who the cat belonged to.  
  
Harry and Hermione headed back to the Gryffindor Tower, along with a first year and a fifth year. They all were wearing hats and giggling like mad. Hermione had her arm around Harry's shoulders to keep herself from falling, for she was so tipsy. Harry was steering the first year in the right direction because he kept wanting to go and talk to the suits of armour. The fifth year was flirting profusely with Sir Cadogan (I think that's how it's spelled.) who was following the floor through pictures.'  
  
Finally, after what seemed like ages, they were standing in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. "Butterbeer!" Hermione said, lifting her glass full of it. They all stumbled into the common room, the three boys heading to their dormitories up one staircase, and Hermione to hers up another.  
  
She picked up her razor, out of pure habit now, and cut her thighs and hips. The flesh splitting to reveal a fine layer of white tissue before the blood finds its way to the top of the wound, slowly rushing over the folds of skin and dripping onto her beddings. One after one, each bled and one after one each stopped (after about two hours) and Hermione cleaned her beddings with a simple charm before changing into shorts and a t-shirt for bed.  
  
She finished off her butterbeer and laid her head on her pillow, falling slowly into a dreamless sleep.  
  
Hermione woke to the brilliant morning sun, her recent cuts stinging slightly. She climbed off her bed and opened the parcels at the bottom, when she came to Harry's she paused, wondering if it was the usual candy. She opened it and saw a glint of silver before she unfolded the last bit of paper; she saw a beautiful silver chain bracelet with tiny golden Snitches hanging at intervals. They were animatedly curling and unfurling their wings, flying slowly in place.  
  
She gasped and clasped it around her wrist, completely amazed with the small Snitches. 'Oh, he's too sweet!' Hermione thought before rushing off to Harry's dormitory to thank him.  
  
He was already halfway through his presents when Hermione came rushing through the door. She hugged him tightly and pulled back, sitting on the floor beside him. "Oh! Harry, thank you! It's wonderful!" She said, holding up her wrist as he blushed furiously.  
  
In his embarrassment, Harry diverted his eyes from her face and looked over her, blushing more at the fact that she was wearing short shorts and a short tee.  
  
Hermione suddenly stood, realizing that he could probably see the cuts and scars on her legs and upper arms, but it was too late, Harry had already seen.  
  
A/N: Hey mates! Yeah, I know, it's a bit of a cliffy. But, I like cliffy, as long as I'M the one writing them. Don't worry. I'm going to update within the next three days, so you won't have to wait long. Oh, and I'm sorry that it's so short, but I'm trying to figure out what to do next with my other story- Dreamscapes. Well, please review...yes, right there, the little periwinkle colored button that says GO. Yeah, it's not that hard! Just a few words of praise (J/K, as I said, flames are accepted) and then you can click submit. All right, that's all. Love, love. 


	5. Author Replies

A/N: I think I'll leave the cliffy as a cliffy for a little longer. Hehe, yes, you can all hate me, for I am evil! (insert evil laugh here, again) I revised the first chapter a bit, so you can read that again in the meantime. I'm trying to figure out, EXACTLY what Harry is going to say. Don't worry; I'll probably have it posted by the end of today or tomorrow sometime. That's keeping to my three-day limit, right? Well, this 'chapter' is going to be dedicated to all my recent reviewers. I will answer all your reviews to Chapter 4, and I'd like to thank all others that have read and reviewed, if I don't answer individually, then it means I haven't gotten your review to Chapter 4 yet, or that you didn't review Chapter 4. I will answer all other reviews that come after I have posted this in Chapter 5. Thank you all for reading, and keep reviewing! Now time for those answers:  
  
Grants Beetle: I'm glad you still like it. I'm posting soon. I hope you like my revision of chapter one, it gives more reasons for Hermione's new habit. I hope it's more realistic now.  
  
Bitter Rosemary: Thank you, I try hard on my writing. And my humor. I love my reviewers' senses of humor too. Y'all rock my figuratively imaginary socks! I wish more people would understand why people like me do this, that's my main inspiration for the fic, and I'm glad people actually like it. Thanks so much for the review.  
  
Avery-88: But I really wanted a banana...sob No fair. Please keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Monkeyfeet180: I'm glad you think this is the best. I'm flattered. ==  
  
Sarah-elf Princess: It's completely fine with me. I just love getting reviews! Well, most people who cut begin to black out all feeling, I would know. Anyways, you'll get to see Harry's reaction in the next chappie! Pout no more!  
  
Weasley's Girl-35: Thank you, I try hard on my cliffys! Thanks for reading!  
  
RedHandedLillian: Yeah, me too. I wish it really existed. I loved it, and I had just made it off the top of my head while I was writing. You are one of most humorous reviewers; you always make me laugh! Thanks for the advice about not writing for flamers. I think you're a great supporter of my story and for that, thank you much!  
  
MysricalSpirits: You are very humorous also. Oh, joy! Oh bliss, oh rapture. Very funny! And the La-la-la...very nice. Please keep reading and reviewing?  
  
Fan Jimmy: Me either! Oh, wait, I know what he's gonna do...I think...well...sorta...Oh, well, you'll just have to wait till I post the next chapter, until then, check out my revised version of Chapter 1-Blade's Recognition!  
  
Anonymous: I have some experience with cutting, but what happened to Hermione isn't quite the same as what happened to me. My story is a bit different, and quite depressing. And, I have been to a mental hospital and I have a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and a social worker, so yeah, I'd say people know and are trying to help. Thanks for your input though. Greatly appreciated!  
  
TheInsufferableKnowItAll: It doesn't matter how much you say, ANY review is greatly appreciated and helps me continue writing! Don't worry; I'll have it updated by tomorrow, for my own sake so y'all don't start hating me! (too much)  
  
JRadclif: Thank you...I try! (insert another evil laugh) I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I think I still have until tomorrow to hold to the promise, right? I'm glad you love it!  
  
KlsBjs: I'm glad you actually read it; you had better update yours soon too! No, thank you! I have the same point of view on this as you do. I think I'll refer your story to the others! Hey! Everyone, read Hero No More by my friend here KlsBjs! It's about self-mutilation also.   
  
Melody: Thank you, I was hoping they were in character; I was a bit afraid that they were out of character. Oh, and Flames are reviews that down the story or say bad things about a story. (at least, I think that's what a Flame is all about) Usually, flames don't help a writer; they just insult the story without telling the writer what to improve on. I hope that helps. CrazyCruzet212: DUN-DUN-DUN. I don't know, will he? Only I know! (evil laugh goes here) hmm...I laugh evilly a lot! Maybe I should do this! (insert maniac laugh here) Hmm...doesn't have the same effect...okay...I'm sticking with my evil laugh!  
  
ILoveKp: I like your reviews. They are not kindergartener-ish at all. You would have to say this to be kindergartener-ish: O, I luv et! Hehe, my little sister just finished kindergarten, so I know how it is. Hehe! Keep reviewing, and thanks for all the previous ones!  
  
What's In A Name Anyway: This is my reply to your review from Chapter 1 that I just got. My boyfriend made me promise that too, I held out for a while, but then I had to move to another state. And I got depressed again, because I didn't have any of my friends, and many friends I had left behind betrayed me. So...yeah, I started again, and I went to a mental hospital, and then he broke up with me. Which sucks, considering everything else I have to go through (not just moving) So, now I could care less what people think of me for doing it. Yeah, but I am glad you stopped. Just keep a tight hold on your boyfriend, he sounds like a good one.  
  
A/N: That's all for now folks. I hope you don't hate me too much now. I'd appreciate it if someone would send me the links to my story. My e-mail address is I'm trying to send my fic to my own story. (insert sad sigh here) Thank for reviewing, please keep at it! I love you all! 


	6. Christmas of Foreboding

A/N: I know y'all all probably hate me now, sorry about that. I just could not think of what I wanted to happen exactly, but now I've got about the gist of it. Although, I've only got like the first sentence already planned, I just let it flow form there. Hehe, I'm awful. That's why my stories are awful; I'm not a good planner. I hope you like it anyway! I try to please y'all, because y'all are my adoring fans. JK! No, y'all are my readers, and I write for y'all, because I LOVE reviews. Oh, and in reply to all those reviews I got after the last 'chapter' thingy:  
  
Elebriwien: Thank you. Please keep reading!  
  
Hermione's Boyfriend: Well, the only reason I do is because I have nothing else to do. And today happens to be my busiest day of the week, of course, the day I promised to have the naext chapter out by (sighs) now I must work fast and this chapter is going to be crappy and short, Sorry y'all.  
  
MysticalSpirits: Once again, another humorous review. I hope this chapter helps until I get the next up.  
  
FanJimmy: Thank you, I try! (insert evil laugh)  
  
Anonymous: Well, thanks for your concern, I still do it occasionally, and suicide has been somewhat another of my problems, that being which I might cover in this story also (attempted, folks, attempted!) Thanks for your concern, I hope you continue reading my story though.  
  
Melody: Thanks again. I'm glad you stopped. I'm glad you have such caring friends, I bet that helped you in stopping too. My friends helped me stopped before...well, enough of my personal life, I'm sure I've bored you all with enough of it before. Anyways, I think I should add a bit of the hiding it in, I was thinking this was going to be a shorter story than it's turned out to be, but my reviewers keep giving me great ideas! I don't know if it'll ever end!!! Thanks again!  
  
Melbazoid: What you said makes sense to me, don't worry, but I don't want readers getting the wrong idea and decide it's okay to cut just because a guy/girl doesn't notice their feelings. I've been there, done that. And even with all I've gone through, people still think it's wrong, but anyways...on with the story! I'm glad you reviewed. Thanks!  
  
What'sInANameAnyway: Yes, I hope I've made Harry gentle enough, but I believe I might...no...I better not give it away, anyways, read on! (oh, and you're so lucky to have your b/f and Stef, hey that rhymed!, hang on to them!)  
  
ILoveKp: I'm glad you liked it anyway...it was only replies to my lovely reviewers (I love you all!) but I hope it doesn't kill you. Then you won't be able to read what comes after it. Thanks for the review!  
  
Well, that's all for now! Enjoy!  
  
Hermione quickly ran towards the door of the dormitory, but Harry was as quick on the ground as he was in the air; he beat her to it and shut it quickly, pressing his back against it to block her from getting out. Hermione didn't know what to do at this; nor did she have much time to think about it for Harry was giving her a 'death' glare.  
  
"You said you would stop!" He yelled, not bothering to keep his voice low, for there were only two others in the whole of Gryffindor Tower.  
  
She cowered at the sight of him so angry at her and at the raising of his voice, he'd never yelled at her before. "I did. I stopped cutting my wrists. See," she held out her wrists for him to see, only two scars disfigured her otherwise perfect forearms.  
  
Harry looked at her, confusion showing on his face. "What are you talking about, 'Mione?" He asked, grabbing one of her wrists to keep her from running, for he had stepped away from the door.  
  
"Uh...what I mean is...er...you made me promise not to cut my wrists anymore...which I didn't...see!" She lifted her wrists again after wrenching them out of his grasp then ran to the door, but this tims Harry didn't move, instead he fell to his knees and stared at the ground. Hermione was afraid to turn and look back at him, so she ran out of the dormitory without another word.  
  
Harry wiped his eyes and looked through the rest of his presents, excluding the one Hermione had just given him(her painting)...if you call that a present. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to Hermione the next time he saw her. The last present he opened was from Hermione. It was a genuine golden Snitch (coincidence? I think not!) but this one wasn't worn or tarnished like the one that the school used for their Qidditch matches, no, it was seemingly brand new. It glowed in the brightness of the polished gold and the silver wings glinted in the sunlight pouring through the window. "Ironic. Isn't it?" Harry voiced to no one in particular.  
  
Yes, indeed, it was ironic that something so beautiful could appear at such a time when Harry felt nothing but remorse and sadness towards the one who gave it to him. 'How could she?' he thought. 'How could she do that to herself? Doesn't she know I care about her?' He punched the cold stone floor as his knuckles began bleeding. He ignored the pain and yelled as loudly as he could to no one in particular.  
  
The only answer to his cry of anguish was the echo bouncing of the stone walls causing a headache for Harry. "Damnit!" Yes, damned it may be, for Christmas was supposed to be happy, not foreboding. Why should Christmas have an aura of foreboding hovering over it? (thanks to RedHandedLillian for that wonderful line, and the one two paragraphs up, hehe)  
  
Hermione stood in the middle of her bedroom, crying her eyes out. She had just lost the friendship she had tried so hard to hold on to. She knew she couldn't face him again. She stared at the twinkling snitches dangling from her bracelet and let a watery smile play over her lips before she burst into anguished sobs again, this time falling to her knees and holding her head in her hands, letting the tears slip through her fingers and on to the torn wrappings from her presents.  
  
She quickly made up he mind and pulled on the sweater that Mrs. Weasley sent to her annually and pulled on a pair of loose jeans (her new cuts stung too much if she wore tight clothing) and cleaned up the wrapping from her gifts. (she came across knobbly socks that Dobby had sewn for her, of course they didn't match, and pulled them on to her cold feet) She wiped her face clean and fixed her blankets on her bed to make it look proper before heading down to the common room, full of resolve.  
  
She was going to face Harry as soon as she could, no need to hold it off, that would just make it worse. But Harry was nowhere to be found in the common room or in his dormitory. She walked briskly down to the Great Hall to cut him off but was only greeted by Professor Dumbledore's twinkling eyes and a hearty 'Merry Christmas' from Professor Flitwick. She smiled at them both, replying politely befor headed off onto the grounds towards the lake.  
  
She saw the Giant Squid skimming the top of the lake lazily, but no Harry. She stopped by Hagrid's, but even Hagrid wasn't there to greet her. She went to the only place left that she could think of, the Owlery. She ran full speed to the highest tower, thankfully not running into Mr. Filch or Mrs. Norris on the way there. She ran over the threshold and up the stairs, tripping on a patch of straw and falling onto her backside before she saw that no one was there except for a 2nd year Ravenclaw.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you, but have you seen Harry?" Hermione asked, breathlessly, clutching the stitch in her side.  
  
"Harry?" The younger girl squeaked, obviously frightened at the sudden appearance of the 7th year.  
  
"Harry Potter. Have you seen him?" She asked, gasping now, leaning on one of the perches, cauding the owls near her to hoot indignantly.  
  
"I'm sorry, but no." The girl answered, tying her letter to an owl before it took flight off of it's perch.  
  
"Oh, well then, sorry to have bothered you." Hermione said, turning and walking back down the steps. 'I guess I'll go get breakfast then, she thought to herself as she made her way slowly to the Great Hall.  
  
She arrived just as all the other students were sitting at the one table in the middle of the room, all but Harry and the little 2nd year that was making her way past Hermione warily to sit with her friend. Hermione looked up to see chicken and potatoes stacked high.  
  
"Chicken? Potatoes?" She murmured out loud, disbelieving as she took a seat next to Professor Dumbledore. "For breakfast?" She cast a quizzical eye around the table, as no one else seemed to have realized this.  
  
Professor Dumbledore, however, caught her eye and leaned over. He spoke in a whisper so no one else would her. "Ms. Granger, I'm afraid you have missed breakfast. Tis time for lunch." Then he winked and carried on with his meal, talking animatedly to Professor McGonagal.  
  
Hermione checked her watch, and, to her surprise, it was already 12:00. She had completely wasted her morning running around and looking for Harry, who had just come through the doors and sat down across from Hermione.  
  
Harry kept his eyes on his plate and food all throughout lunch and didn't say a word to Hermione, only looking up to pass a word between himself and Dumbledore. He was silent on the way back up to Gryffindor Tower. He immediately went up to his dormitory without a word to Hermione.  
  
'So,' she thought, as tears welled in her eyes, 'I'm getting the silent treatment, and no doubt he's already sent an owl to Ron, who, of course, will do the same as Harry.' She sighed as she sat on her bed, hugging her pillow in a tight squeeze. "It's not like I don't deserve it...'  
  
She felt alone again as she laid back in her bed to read a new book her parents had gotten her for Christmas, 'Darkness Be My Friend' (this is a real book, I just can't remember the author) by a Muggle author. She stayed in her room all night, reading, and skipping dinner, before falling asleep with one thought in her mind. 'I'm alone again.'  
  
A/N: Thanks to all for reviewing, I hope this chapter is alright for now, but I'll make up for the shortness and crappiness with the next one. I'm really sorry for this chapter, but I set myself a limit, and I wanted to keep to my promise. Please review, even if you didn't like this chapter, just let me know what you think, Yeah, it's just the periwinkle box that says GO. Thanks for reading! == 'Til next time! 


	7. Where the Blame Lies

A/N: Hey all, sorry about the last chapter being so late. The day I was ready to post it, my AOL froze and would not work right. Yeah, I know...excuses...but it's true! I'm sorry it was so short too, I was trying to keep to my promise, and I didn't have much time, but of course, AOL wouldn't let me stay true to my word. (Begins bashing an AOL logo) There...now I feel better. Hehe, so in reply to your many reviews:  
  
KlsBjs: No problem, I love your story, and I want to spread the word and let others see how great it is. Oh, and if anyone else has any stories they'd like me to advertise, just tell me in a review and I'll post the name in my next chapter! Thanks for the review KB!  
  
Bitterosemary: Thanks for the review, I think that's your first review to my story? (correct me if I'm wrong) Thanks!  
  
MysticalSpirits: Lol. That's alright, as long as you like it!  
  
Possom2009: This is your first review to my fic! Thans for reading! I hope you like this!  
  
ColorGuardBaby23: I've heard of it, and I've seen it in the store...but I never have any money!!! Wah! (sniffle) I wanna read it, have you read it? Is it good?  
  
GrantsBeetle: Thank you (bows) you're too kind! I know I didn't post this as soon as you like, or as soon as I like for that matter, but I've been sick lately and such. I know...excuses, excuses. I PROMISE to have the next chapter up sooner! Sorry!  
  
ILoveKp: Thank you for liking it, although I still think it's short and crappy. I will read your story Kidnapped, although I bet it isn't short or crappy!  
  
Monkeyfeet180: I'm glad you love it. Thanks for reading it.  
  
Hermione'sBoyfreind: I thought "Darkness Be My Friend" was a great read, but I have't read Of Mice and Men. Maybe I should. You and I know that Harry is just shell-shocked, but Hermione doesn't. I'm trying to put the story in her point of view, just not in first person. If that makes sense. Thanks for the advice.  
  
Weasley'sGirl35: Thanks!  
  
JohnMarsden: I cut sometimes still, but not as often as I used to, I do it because of things in my life that have happened, and such, and because it feels good. (WRNING: I do NOT advise anyone else to do it!!! It's bad for you! I know!)  
  
Greenrock: Am I that bad of a writer to make you cry? I'm sorry.  
  
Maia: I hope this will satisfy you, I'll try to update sooner.  
  
The-Insufferable-Know-It-All: JUST pretty good? J/K! Thanks for the praise.  
  
Morgan: Hey buddy! I'm so happy you read my story, and reviewed it! Thanks for all the praise, but you're making my empty head fill up with pride...oh no! That'll ruin the posse system of brains! (quickly empties head so it resumes it's status of having nothing in it) Okay, that's better! I'll try and work with Dreamscapes, but I've been so busy with this one. (sigh) No excuse, right? I'll work on it ASAP, bye Hope!  
  
Fanjimmy: I wonder too...cause I don't even know until I write it. Sad way to go about writing a story huh? Well, actually, I have an idea of what she's gonna do next. I hope y'all like Linkin Park!  
  
Well, that's it, Enjoy!  
  
As Hermione thought, Harry had informed Ron and Ginny of her new habit. They hadn't said anything, no, that would be too awkward. It was all in their actions. They were suddenly nervous around her, and they didn't talk much. Of course, there were still the 'Hellos" and "how are yous', but it was nothing like before. It was as if she was dying or had been stricken with a horrible illness. (She didn't think she had, but they knew differently)  
  
Harry was still ignoring her, acting normal with Ron and Ginny who, in turn, smiled weakly and acted as nervous as they did with her. Everyone noticed the tension in the group, but everyone else was too afraid to say anything either.  
  
This made Hermione worse than she was before, as is expected of someone in her state of mind. Her cuts gradually became deeper, wider, and more frequent. January had passed, and conversations were becoming scarce. Ron and Ginny had seen her cuts one day during dinner, causing them to be even quieter around her.  
  
Hermione had tired of this and started spending even more time in the library than usual. She avoided everyone and stayed with her nose in a book almost every minute she spent awake, excepting those times she was cutting. Even while she was eating, she had a book propped up in front of her. No one took this as a weird notion, as N.E.W.T.S were getting closer and Hermione had always been one too over-prepare.  
  
Hermione overheard Harry, Ginny, and Ron talking beside her in the Great Hall one day about the Valentine's Day Hogsmeade visit. Obviously, Harry was meeting Cho to spend the day with her; Ron was going with Lavender Brown on a double date with Seamus Finnigan and Parvati Patil. And Ginny was meeting Neville, who had become a bit handsome in the past two years. Hermione, of course, was spending the day alone.  
  
Alone. The word that had haunted her for so long now, but she had grown to be apathetic on this subject. She knew better than to get her hopes up. No one was going to ask her, it was an inevitable fact that she spend the day alone. No, she wasn't alone. She had herself; she'd always had herself, and her paintings. Yes, she would paint some more, she'd paint some valentines while she was in Hogsmeade. She no longer cared if anyone saw. It wouldn't make them talk to her if they did, it would make them be even more distant; something with which she was perfectly fine. She had grown used to the loneliness; it was her new routine.  
  
Hermione headed out of the Entrance Hall along with the rest of the school above second year on a cold February morning. She had her gloved hands balled into fists in her pockets, one of which was holding her best friend. Her blade. She tromped through the snow alone on her way to Hogsmeade. Her first stop would be the Shrieking Shack. No one would go their on Valentine's Day, it wasn't what you'd call the ideal place for a romantic date.  
  
She parted from the rest of her school mates as they walked through the wrought-iron archway above the path into Hogsmeade. They were all headed to the shops, while she was headed to the shack atop the tall hill. She walked through the snow, her sneakers and the hem of her robes soaked with the melting snow. She found a small boulder overlooking the dreary house in which she, Harry, and Ron had found out the truth about Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.  
  
She sighed sadly, yes, she had grown used to the loneliness, but that didn't necessarily mean she liked it. No, she missed her best friends and Ginny, but they had no patience with her anymore, they didn't know how to act around her, even though she had told them to act naturally around her, but they couldn't. They had acted even more strangely, if that was possible.  
  
'They're probably afraid to say anything to me anymore. They could think I might hurt them...' she chuckled a bit. 'The only person I'll hurt is myself, it's all my fault...I'm to blame...that's why I should be punished...' At this she took the blade from her pocket and glided it slowly across her arm, creating a deep open wound. Her blood dripped to the snow below, turning it a pink color as the blood soaked through the lightly separated snow.  
  
"I should have spent more time with Grandma before she died!' She thought as she swiped angrily at her wrist, causing a long cut to form before it too dripped onto the snow.  
  
'I should have gone on that date with Justin (Justin is the name of an evil person, that's why I put that name) then he wouldn't have killed them!' She cut her wrist again.  
  
'I should've known I was adopted. I'm supposed to be the smartst witch of my age!' Another wound was made.  
  
'I should've prepared more for the N.E.W.T.S over the summer instead of wasting my time doing other things.' She painted another picture across her forearm.  
  
'I shouldn't have gotten carried away with my feelings for Harry. I shouldn't have ever believed I had a chance. I shouldn't have been so FOOLISH!' She thought, clenching her teeth and striking out at herself once more with the blade before dropping it in the pain and bringing her knees to her chest.  
  
She wrapped her well arm around her knees while she gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. Her arm hurt severely. 'I must have hit a vein.' Sudddenly, at this thought the pain stopped. Hermione opened her eyes and saw the blood was only slowly trickling down her arm to drip of her fingertips to rest in the large puddle of blod that had formed below her arm beside the rock. Her teeth unclenched as she let her knees down, crossing them to sit 'indian-style' atop the small boulder. She looked at the slowly seeping blood and then at the snow on which it dripped; the whiter than white, untouched snow. It was such a contrast. The deep crimson clashed with the white snow, and her gaze never left the puddle of blood until it had disappeared underneath the snow's surface, turning it to a mere soft pink.  
  
Her wounds had stopped bleeding over an hour before and she slowly stretched before climbing down from the rock and checking her watch. 4:30. Time to head back.  
  
She trudged slowly back into the little town of Hogsmeade, passing many a student holding hands with someone of the opposite sex, some exchanging candies or kisses. She frowned as she saw Harry and Cho, hands clasped and passed them without a word before joining with the rest of the excited, laughing, jovial students on their trek back up to the school for dinner.  
  
A/N: Just to forewarn you, the next chapter, or some chapter in the near future may make some queasy. I hope you liked this chapter, sorry it took so long. I came to a bit of writer's block, but I'm back into the 'groove' now. The next chapter should come soon! 


	8. Blood and Stone

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Linkin Park. I don't own the lyrics to Linkin Park's 'Breaking the Habit' either. Neither do I own any money, so it would be no use to you if you sued me.  
  
A/N: I'm writing this right after I posted Chapter 6: Where the Blame Lies, so I haven't gotten any reviews for it yet. Therefore, no review replies for this chapter. I hope you like this one; I'm using my own interpretation of Linkin Park's: Breaking the Habit for this chapter. It might be a bit short, so sorry, but hey, at least I updated quickly, right? Enjoy!  
  
'Memories consume'  
  
Hermione sat in her dorm that night, thinking over all the conclusions she had come to earlier that day in Hogsmeade. It was all her fault. Everything was her fault, and she had caused nothing but grief to anyone, including herself. She walked out of her dormitory and stealthily through the common room, slipping out the portrait hole, unseen by the sleeping Fat Lady.  
  
She thought back to all the times she had shared with her grandmother and grandfather...then ended those memories with the one of her funeral. A tear slipped down her cheek. She should have gone with Justin on that date, and then he wouldn't have been driving recklessly. It was her fault.  
  
Justin had been a perfectly proper boy until Herrmione had turned him down to be his girlfriend, because she had feelings for a person she could never have, another of her problems. Justin had started hanging out with the neighborhood bullies and potheads, and then started smoking pot along with vandalizing and bullying at the local parks. It was her fault.  
  
She shouldn't have ignored all the signs of her being adopted. Her parents had shown plenty of them, she shouldn't have gotten so attached. She shouldn't have ignored all the signs. It was her fault.  
  
She shouldn't have been so lazy over the summer; she shouldn't have hung out with her Muggle friends so much. She shouldn't have spent her time doing other things. She should have been studying for the N.E.W.T.S. The N.E.W.T.S are her future, now she feels she doesn't have one. It was her fault.  
  
She shouldn't have bothered over her feelings for Harry; they were the cause of Justin's smoking and bullying. They were the cause of her Grandparents' deaths. Her emotions got in the way, yet again. It was her fault.  
  
Her thoughts had occupied her all the way to the tallest tower in the school, the Astronomy Tower. She quietly climbed the stone steps until she reached the small platform at the top; it seemed the moon was looking straight down at her. She frowned as she looked up, she used to enjoy star gazing under the moon's light, but that was a past time long forgotten to her.  
  
'Like opening the wound'  
  
She slowly pulled the blade from her pocket and put it to her forearm. A smile twitch across her lips for the few seconds it took to open her delicate and scarred flesh before her lips resumed their usually frown.  
  
'I'm picking me apart again'  
  
Her fuel for cutting tonight was all the thoughts of blame and hatred she had towards herself and the cruel world. 'Why me?' continued flashy through her mind along with all the other condescending thoughts as she swiped the blade across her arms again and again, picking her spots carefully.  
  
'You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, unless I try to start again'  
  
She chuckled to her self, as the blood seeped out of her wounds. 'They all think I'm sleeping in my dorm as usual. How wrong they are. I wonder what they'll think...'  
  
'I don't want to be the one the battles always choose'  
'Cause inside I realize, that' I'm the one confused'  
  
She was sick of everything happening to her. She had had enough.  
  
'I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream'  
'I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean'  
'I don't know how I got this way; I know it's not alright'  
'So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit...Tonight'  
  
By now, Hermione had given up hope, slashing her forearms all over...except for one spot.  
  
'Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door; I try to catch my breath again'  
  
She was now holding so tightly onto the blade as she cut that it had broken the skin on her hand that was gripping it, but she hadn't seem to notice. She was shaking slightly and breathing hard, although it wasn't known from what, either the pain, or the adrenaline.  
  
'I hurt much more, than anytime before; I have no options left again'  
  
She had made up her mind. Tonight was different. The emotional pain had become too much.  
  
'I don't want to be the one, the battles always choose'  
'Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused'  
'I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream'  
'I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean'  
'I don't know how I got his way, I'll never be alright'  
'So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit...Tonight'  
  
She moved the blade from her arm and stared at the long spot she had left unscathed.  
  
'I'll paint it on the walls'  
'Cause I'm the one at fault'  
  
Blood rushed form her other wounds, and fell onto the stone floor and splattered the wall like raindrops. Hermione put the blade to her skin and took a deep breath.  
  
'I'll never fight again'  
'And this is how it ends'  
  
She pressed down as far as she could and ripped the skin open painfully with the blade, she pushed down harder, her teeth clenched, and her fist tight around the blade. She watched as the flesh tore away and the vein opened at the touch of the blade, she felt a searing pain run through her body but she was determined. She was going to finish what she had started. White bits of fat and tissue flowed out of the wound along with the crimson blood that had already poured all over her robes. She pressed harder and skimmed the top of the artery before bringing the blade fully across her arm and dropping it.  
  
'I don't want to be the ones, the battles always choose'  
'Cause inside I realize, that I' the one confused'  
'I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream'  
'But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean'  
'I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright'  
'So I'm breaking the habit'  
'I'm breaking the habit'  
'I'm breaking the habit'  
'Tonight.'  
  
Hermione dropped the blade as her limp, almost lifeless body fell to the stone beside her; the moon looking considerably duller as the sun began to rise. 


	9. Author Replies Again!

I'm sorry all, I'm not even gonna put an author's note or check my grammar and such for this...but right now...I'm a bit ticked because of something on of my supposed friends said to me...I thought he was my best friend...but he has betrayed me like everyone else...and right now, I'm not doing so well, I'm changing meds, and I thought I was doing well with the story and all...but what he said just hit a nerve...I'm sick of all this...I don't know if I'm continuing my story at this point...you can thank Kevin Ward from Tallassee, Alabama for that. He lives on King Street in some apartments in the top left (from the entrance) apartment...if you're wondering why I'm telling y'all this, it's because I want him to pay!!!! (I'm an awful, evil, violent person) and while you're at it...hurt Justin Matheny for me too...he's awful too....I can't write the story anymore (most likely) because Kevin doesn't like what I did with JK's characters and he said Hermione would never do that...I thought she was perfectly IN character for everything that was happening...but I guess I was wrong...SORRY for wasting y'alls time...y'all may go ahead and continue hating me...it's alright...cause I'm gonna go back to cutting cause I'm sick of all the crap that's always going on...I never did anything wrong...and everything just keeps getting worse...to the point of tears now please...no sympathy...I just need some time to either die or come to some resolve...sorry to have bothered you...I'll give one last review reply chapter in a few minutes...but this is all for now....( 10:44 pm, central standard time, 8/2/04 )  
  
(11:00 PM. CST, same day)  
  
(Still shaking with anger)  
  
Okay, I'm gonna do this to hopefully calm my nerves...there's no guarantee I will stop writing, but if I do...I'm sorry...but you'll know I was either admitted into a mental ward or am no longer with this earth (well, I'll be in the dirt, but you know what I mean) I'm sorry I'm such a depressing person, please forgive me...at least I stopped the story at a part that can be stopped at...right? (Hoping to win some points back with the readers) okay...here the replies to the reviews...I love y'all...just to let you know...thanks for being so great to me and loving my story...  
  
HarryPotterFan014: As a matter-o-fact, I am a bit of a nutcase. I suffer from depression, low self-esteem, and post traumatic stress syndrome. I've cut myself, that's how I know how it feels to do it. Do you think I'd be able to come up with such detail without ever doing it before? It's not that easy. Thank you for complimenting on my writing; I'm glad you could picture yourself there, that's what author's aim for whilst writing a story. I want you to try and get your friends to stop. If you have to, let them read this story to let them know, that cutting usually leads to suicide. Tell them you care about them and want them to stop, because it makes you feel horrible when they do it. I hope it works. Also tell them that if they ever committed suicide that you'd blame yourself for not being able to stop them. And once again, thanks for the compliments.  
  
Grants Beetle: It all depends on whether or not I continue writing. I'm glad you liked it...and I'm glad you put in that bleep. Well, I hope I don't disappoint you if I stop, because you have to admit, this is a good stopping point.  
  
Fan Jimmy: You reviewed the 7th chapter, so I'm just letting you know there are 8 able to be read, so yeah...that's all...  
  
Mystical Spirits: Sorry, detail is just my thing. It can't seem realistic unless there's lots of detail. If I continue writing I'll try to do as you ask. I love Linkin Park also that's why I used their song. It's my SECOND favorite by them (my fave is Crawling). Sorry it made you queasy, I tried to warn...so don't hurt me (cowers in fear)  
  
Action Master: I'm sorry it made you sad, but hey, it's a story about depressing, if it had made you happy, then I'd think you had more problems than I.  
  
JarethsBabe: Thanks, and I'll try to read you fic before I go...  
  
Dreamy: I like your name. Thanks much. I love Linkin Park also; they do rock, don't they? I was hoping the song and scene would fit, I'm glad I wrote it to where it did. Thanks for the review.  
  
Green rock: Thank you for the compliments. I'm sorry my story must be so sad, but it's an outlet for me, one which I may no longer have anymore. Sorry again for making you cry.  
  
JohnMeNeFee21: Thank you. I'm proud of my writing. Can you believe I'm only 15? Just wondering. Thanks for reading.  
  
ColorGuardBaby23: I don't know...is she? Sorry...I just had to do that.  
  
(By the way...as you can tell, I'm gradually feeling better...it might just be the Zoloft, but still...)  
  
DanielLover12: Another new reviewer. Thanks much, I'm glad you like it. And by the way, LP rocks my figuratively imaginary socks. (Don't ask)  
  
Mystery Chick: Who says Harry's the one that finds her? Hehe...I love being mysterious.  
  
MkRux: I'm thankful for all the compliments, I try hard. If I continue writing, then I'm sure that they will work tings out...maybe... (I don't even know, I only know as I write it)  
  
Melody: It was that detailed and entrancing? (I think that's the right word) Wow...I'm glad you liked it (I'm taking the wow in a good way) Please don't ever do anymore than scratches; in fact...don't even do scratches. Okay...that's all...I think...  
  
Weasley's Girl35- I'm glad it's so good that you're addicted to it. I'm sorry it made you queasy though, but detail is a must with me. Thanks for all the compliments!  
  
Nightchild87: Wow...another addict. Hmm...Does my story classify as a drug then? I hope not. Yeah, Harry does, doesn't he? Maybe I should literally do that. clicks an identical sign above her head on It's alright, so am I!  
  
What'sInANameAnyway: Harry and them are awful, yes, I know, from personal experience, but they'll smarten up soon.  
  
Katie101: I don't know. She might, it depends on what I want to happen.  
  
Bitterosemary: I tried to make it deal with real life issues, I'm glad it is real, that's the approach I was taking. I know what's happening isn't good, but it'll get better...MAYBE.  
  
Truelove: It's not really that Harry needs to forgive her. It's more that he needs to come to his senses.  
  
PotterRulz140: Thank you, thanks you. (Bows) Well, it depends on who you know. I named the guy who killed her grandparents after the guy that shattered my heart. (yeah, I know what your thinking...but seriously, I got so attached, I thought he LOVED me...not that love that people have for each other just because they think they're supposed to be in love, but that real love...well...yeah...I was wrong...) Well...enough about me. Sorry to bore y'all again, but anyways, on with the reply to my fabulous reviews!  
  
Shining-Brightly: I'm sorry it was confusing at first, could you specify where? I'd like to fix it. Thanks for reading. Aloha! (You know...it means good-bye and hello...sorry...just checking that you knew...)  
  
Chica91: What chapters are you missing? If there is a problem with your computer reading the chapter, just e-mail me at Racingrl2007 that's at And I will make it a point to e-mail you each chapter whenever I post it.  
  
Wohsi: Thank you. I might, but who knows? I'm leaning towards not though...  
  
NJM1391: Sorry. But that's where the song ends; therefore, that's where the chapter ends. U.U neh....  
  
The Cuzzle Of Spooty: Thanks Amber, for reading and reviewing. I thought it'd make you you were due a good cry soon. Well, I hope you keep reading! Love, love!  
  
No Name: I'm sorry...but you're not the fist, if that's of any comfort to you. I'm glad you liked it.  
  
The-Insufferable-Know-It-All: Yeah...I'm just keeping the tradition of replying to every review that I receive. So...yeah...she'll get better...maybe...And they have to be stupid. The story has to have some kind of fuel.  
  
Holly: Thank you much. They might be...It depends though...  
  
Well, that's all for now!!! Almost 100 reviews! Wow...gazes at nothing in particular in amazement this makes me happy!!! Just 2 more reviews...2 more!!! Awesome, brilliant, nifty...spiffy! I'm so excited...(said this at 1:50 AM, before receiving two more reviews) Until next time...Love, love!  
  
( Aug.3rd,2004 2:00 CST)  
  
KlsBjs: Thanks so much...my head is swelling with pride form all these compliments oh no! (empties head quickly) There...nothing is in it anymore. I can't wait to read your new chapter!!! And I love advertising for my readers, if anyone else would like me to do so...just let me know!!!  
  
TransparentEye: Where did you get the idea for your name from? Thanks so much for reading my story, tell Chicken I love him! Take good care of him! (Yay! My best friend (one of them) is my 100th reviewer!!! Yay!!!)  
  
(As you can tell...my mood has changed completely...thanks to all of you! blows kisses to everyone thanks for keeping me alive! [Literally] Insert smiley face here oh...and I'm going to check my grammar and spelling, although I said I wouldn't. I just can't help it...) 


	10. Is She Dead?

A/N: I am going to reply to all the reviews in groups of the topics. I'm beginning to get reviews from so many people, that my replies take up more room than the story. It's nothing against y'all, that's a good thing. I love getting so many reviews. I have 134 reviews so far...I'm hoping to get up to at least 150 after I've posted this chapter. I love you all! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story! (Oh, I'm saving my recent depressing news for the end of this chapter...sighs I feel so rejected...)Oh yeah, my comp messed up after I started this chapter, so now that my computer is better and I'm continuing writing it, I shall say this...MY MOUTH HURTS!!! Sorry, I got braces yesterday and they hurt like Hades! Okay, now to continue the chapter-writing ness.

Anyways...to the grouped replies! (This is going to be difficult...)

(Looks at one e-mail and decides to screw the idea of grouped replies, instead sticks with the individual replies, as usual)

Hermione's Boyfriend: Well, I love that song, but I'm not expert at song-fics...so...unless I learn every word to that song by heart and figure out exactly how to put it in...Then you won't be seeing it. It was an AWESOME idea though. I just don't want to screw it up since that song is new to me, even though I love it. Could you send me a link to that story you were telling me to check out? You'll find my e-mail address in my user's profile, unfortunately, it won't show up if I type it on here. You have to understand things from Hermione's point of view to find the answers to your questions. The reason she says her blade is her only friend is because what she sees is her friends avoiding her. She doesn't see them not knowing what to say. She is in a deep stage of depression, causing even the cleverest of witches to be blind to all the facts. She believes the world has something against her, and her friends are part of that world. And, as I know from personal experience, shrinks (as you call it) don't always help.

DanielLover12: I'm going to continue my story...and I might even write others after I've finished this one, if I get the needed inspiration to do so. I would love to read your story Lukemia, and I will, I will review too, of course. And...If you are still in need of a beta reader...then I'd be glad to help, granted I do have my own spelling and grammar mistakes, which I hope to improve on the looking over of my chapters. I'm even going to re-read all my previous chapters until all the mistakes have gone. Well, yeah, I turned another reply into an explanation of plans, ah...well...that's me for you.

Nightchild87: Hey I don't mind the fuming, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (or maybe I'm just hungry, JK) because I was fuming too. And don't worry, I DO care, that's why I answer reviews, to show my readers that they mean something to me! Cause they do! Thanks for all the compliments...they make me feel hungry too...I mean warm and fuzzy...hehe...

Katie101: Thanks for all the compliments...I think my readers/reviewers are starting to give me a big head. Hehe. Thank you much, and I hope you come back to my story sometime to see that I have decided to continue it, thanks so much for reading, and especially for reviewing!

(Wow, I gotta learn to make shorter replies, or longer chapters...I can't have the replies taking up more room than the actual chapter (**sighs)** curse you all...Not really!)

BitterRoseMary: Thanks for caring, and, I actually didn't cut the other night, my reviews saved me! Thank you all again, and...In my thanks, I have decided to continue writing, for YOU!

Mystical Spirits: I hope I made a good decision in the continuity of this fic. I think I'll have fun tormenting Kevin for a while, but...if you REALLY wanna hurt someone and you're ever in Alabama, feel free to go and hurt Justin Matheny, I think I'll spare Kevin for the time being, alas, I have too much of a heart for others...it's so funny. I find it so difficult to hurt others, yet I can hurt myself at any given time. Strange...okay...enough drifting thoughts, thanks for being supportive!

Weasley's Girl35: Disappoint yourself not, for I am continuing the story! Oh...and I think that dumbasses is a word...or not...my automatic spell/grammar check on Microsoft Word just did a jagged red underline on it...oh well, it's a word to you and I!!! Mwuahahahaha!

Chica91: I have come to resolve, and I am continuing, thanks for the review!

Dark Fire Chain: Thank you so much for reading my story, and I understand what you said, and it is true, I know that my story is dark, but hey, we've all read the fifth book, right? That wasn't very bright and happy, now was it? So, screw you Kevin Ward! Ahahahaha, now that I have that off my chest, thanks for reading my story!

Dan-fan2007: Well, thank you very much Brandie, I hope that my story continues to be related to by you....sorry...I made no sense right there...let me reword that, I hope you continue to relate to my story as it progresses, yeah, that makes sense, right? Thanks for reading, I hope you stop cutting though, because I care about others' well being, and I think you're a great person, although I know nothing of you, hey, you helped save my life by reading my story! (Well, it's not a great thing, but, hey, if you had saved anyone else in the world then your act would be considered worthwhile! Yeah...does that make any sense either?)

Colorgaurdbaby23: It would have been the last chapter if I had have let that person get to me like he almost did, but alas, I am still here, so I'm gonna continue the story. Now, whether or not she is dead, I cannot tell you. You will have to read on to find out. I know...I think they just have their heads stuck too far up their you-know-what's to see what you told me. Stupid jerks...

Red-Violin: She I also a favourite character of mine, that is why this story is based on her. (Also, I think I am like Hermione in many, many ways! Hehe! I'd be better than Emma Watson at playing Hermione! JK! Emma Watson's great, I just envy her tremendously! She gets to work with Tom Felton! {Swoons}) Now, whether or not Harry feels what Hermione may have felt (why is it in the past tense? Hmm...You'll have to read on to find out! Mwuahahahaha) for him, I cannot tell, you have to continue reading and reviewing if you ever want to find out!

Cool char: Please don't cry, that will make, like, a billion readers that I've made cry! Sorry this update is so late, I'm lazy, but, hopefully I can work on the speed of my updates, although, school starts Monday, I'll try to get as many chapters in before that as I can! I'm glad my story id unique, I'm proud of my uniqueness!

Transparent Eye: Well, Joy, you are the one and only reader (besides Morgan and Amber...okay, forget that I said one and only) who is within the reach of strangling Kevin and Justin, which I know you would SO love to do! So...do it! For me, and all the other readers! I bet they want you to...hehe...give 'em hell for me, Joy, given them both HELL!

Anonymous: Thank you, thank you for your kindness and caring. I think I have found where to look for even more of that...and it's right here...in my e-mail box. All my reviews help to keep me writing, and better yet, occupied. Thanks to all of you, I no longer cut all the time, although...it's not a guarantee that I have stopped, although...I'm trying, thanks to all of you! (I encourage my readers who also cut, to stop with me, come on! If you need help with it, just IM me, all you have to do is click on my penname at the top of the chapter, and yep, it's in blue! E-mail me if you'd like to speak to me personally!)

AC DC-girl 2029: AC DC rocks! Okies, anyways, thanks for the review, and yeah...you're right...SCREW THEM!

No Name: Yes, it is sad...but it will get better for her...maybe...mwuahahaha, I love being the only who knows what is gonna happen in the story! (Well...kind of...I do when I'm writing it, which means I still find out before y'all, so, HA!)

Fan Jimmy: Read on to find out.

Grants Beetle: Another supportive and faithful reviewer thanks so much for the review. I know that most guys can be complete jerks most of the time, heck, most people are...but I am stupid and foolish and I expect people to be compassionate and over-all good people, so yeah, it's my own stupidity that is at fault. I'm continuing the story; please keep reading!

Anna-Nanna: I hope this is soon enough for you; I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner!

Kostami Amino: Yay! Another person who says Hermione is IN character! See that Kevin, screw you! (Not you Kostami, Kevin...the stupid jerk) I believe it was you that I e-mailed, and thank you again for your review. I have a poem my friend gave me that her mom had given her when she was depressed, I think I may just post it in my story somewhere (that's right, Hope, I'm talking about you!) Thank you for reading, and I hope my e-mail provided some comfort for you, because I've been through much the same as you. I don't think you are a dweeb, and to those who do, SCREW YOU! You are an awesome person; don't forget that.

Shining-Brightly: I'm sorry, I tried to warn about the queasiness that could come from it, but I had to put in the details. Details are what makes a story; it wouldn't have been realistic if the details weren't there. I'm sorry, but if you don't like the details, then you may just have to skip over them. And she's not necessarily stupid for cutting, cutting to relieve stress is the same as doing drugs, or even exercising to relieve stress, yes it may be harmful (as well as drugs are harmful, as Mr.Macky off of South Park says, 'Drugs are bad, mmmmkay.') but it's an outlet for some people. You must understand that, that is what this fic represents.

ILoveKp: Welcome back. Thanks for the compliments that you constantly give me! Now...to answer your questions...I will sum it all into one word...and that word is... (Thinks) Figglesmicknoogleduves. Thank you. Oh, and about the Kevin thing...my friends that have reviewed are Morgan, The Cuzzle of Spooty, and Transparent Eye, just tell me what you'd like them to do to Kevin and/or Justin, and I will see to it that they are well informed...with a few extra torture tactics told by me! Mwuahahahahha!

Green Rock: Yeah, he is a wank...whatever that may be! I'm keeping at it...as soon as I finish replying to all your reviews...I'm almost halfway through, I think!

KlsBjs: Thanks so much! I really think people ought to know about real life issues, even if they do learn it from a fictional story. Your story helps by letting people know about the same thing, and no story is better than the other, not in my eyes at least! (Okay...I lied...I find some books utterly err...I forgot the word...oh yes! AOL has a thesaurus, brb folks! Ah...I think I'm gonna use the word, drudging for this, although, irksome sounds pretty amusing too...oh well, I've used them both!) I pushed the recommend button on yours too. Oh, and by the way, does anyone know what the recommend button does to a story? Oh well...

PoTtErRuLz140: I'm taking the wows as a good thing again...thanks! Also, thanks for the e-mail; I shall reply quite soon! (Oh, and it is NOT pointless, okies, that's all)

Sam: Thanks very much. You'll have to keep reading to know what happens!

HarryPotterFan014: I'm glad your friends have stopped cutting; now, you just gotta work on the ones who haven't, if you'd like any more help with that, just e-mail me! Thanks for reading and being concerned. And...Yeah...it'd help if you went to hurt Kevin, but don't forget about Justin! He deserves it more!

Andi: Aw...if you've been reading for so long, why no reviews? That's alright; I just hope to see more from you in the future...NEAR future. IO hope interesting means good, because that's how I took it!

(Okay...can you believe it...that's all the reviews! Now...to the story!)

Harry Potter woke early in the morning to his scar tingling, he was used to it, but it still would jar him from his sleep. He looked at his watch (yes, he'd finally gotten a new one, after his 4th year experience in the lake) it read 4:45. He shook his head slightly; he was fully awake this early in the morning. He quickly pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt; he needed to clear his head. He was trying to remember what the dream had been about.

He quietly tip-toed out of the dormitory, sneakers in hand, he closed the door, muffling Neville's snores and made his way down to the common room, in which embers from the fire were slowly dimming. He climbed out of the portrait hole quietly to keep from waking the Fat Lady and succeeded. He whispered a silent cry of triumph and made his way to the tower walk. (I made up a little stone built path that connects all the tops of the smallest towers) It was always nice to walk across the stone platforms in the cool twilight breeze, the stars twinkling and blinking above you as the moon dimmed as the sun was slowly creeping behind the trees of the forbidden forest. He stopped for a moment at the fork in the stone path. He had the choice whether to go up to the Astronomy Tower, or to continue along the tower walk. He started up the stone steps to the top of the Astronomy Tower and then stopped; a small slosh sound was made as he stepped onto the first step. He looked down and saw a strange shadow on the step, he kept his eyes on the floor as he cautiously made his way to the top, the small squelching sound got louder as he got nearer the top and the shadows beneath his feet grew along with the altitude.

Harry was lucky he had his eyes on the ground until he reached the top, for he had spared himself the gruesome details of what lay before him, but it was inevitable that he see it, so as the dark shadow continued to fall before him, his eyes traced its path, which led to something that made him fall to his knees clutching his stomach. He couldn't breathe and he began to retch. He slowly made his ways towards the figure of his best friend on all floors, blood soaking into his clothes; he grabbed her lifeless body and pulled it to him, clutching it tightly.

He began rocking back and forth with Hermione in his arms, his eyes were glazed over and he repeatedly kissed the top of her blood-soaked head. As the sun made it's morning peek above the trees, light was shone onto her body and Harry saw the extremity of it all. The sight was more than he could imagine, Hermione's body fell from his grasp and returned to it's bloody tomb, he fell onto all fours again and began retching more, he looked at her arms, split open and still bleeding slightly.

Only now did he notice that she wasn't breathing, he put his hand on her chest, searching for her heartbeat. He found none. Her chest was neither writing nor falling. He laid his ear on her mouth, unable to stay stable; he finally raised his head from her mouth and felt no breath, his hand was still searching for a heartbeat, no breath escaped from her cold, bluing lips.

Finally, Harry gave up the fight and fell into his best friend's blood beside her. He pulled her arm to him helplessly and clutched it steadfastly, his hope draining as quickly as his breath. He was breathing hard; still retching. He still clutched her arm as if it would bring her back to him, but it was to no avail. She was dead and he was too late. He slowly faded into unconsciousness while his clothes continued to absorb her still slightly warm blood.

(Do you really think that's what happened...ah...I told y'all I was evil! Here...to calm your stomachs and your consciences. Here is what REALLY happened....)

Professor Sinistra hurriedly made her way towards the top of the Astronomy, she had to prepare for her 5:30 class with the Ravenclaws. She wrapped her shawl tightly about and straightened her hat before heading out her office door. She bustled towards the tall stone staircase leading to the door that led out onto the Astronomy Tower.

Her shoes halted just outside the door, as a liquid was steadily dripping along the stairs, she looked down and decided the shining sun on the other side of the door would reveal exactly what Peeves was up to this time. She climbed the rest of the steps and quickly opened the door, hoping to take Peeves by surprise; instead, she was the one to be surprised.

A bloodcurdling scream was heard throughout the whole of the castles, even the Slytherins in their dungeons were awoken in a hurry.

Dumbledore was the fastest to act, with Professor McGonagall quickly catching up to him. "Minerva, please, until we find out what has happened to our lovely Astronomy teacher, tell the Heads of Houses to go to their House's common rooms to keep the students calm and in order.

'But, Albus. What if it's serious?" She said, her tone worried, expression to match.

"We will see to that when it comes. Please, Alert Professor Flitwick, we will need him for the Ravenclaws, as their Head of House is our worry." McGonagall nodded in reply and hurried to the Gryffindor Tower as Dumbledore went on the opposite direction.

Suddenly, hurried footsteps could be heard outside the portrait hole, just before Professor McGonagall could be seen scrambling through it, as if she COULD scramble. All the Gryffindors were crowded around her as she straightened her self, pulling her robe tighter around her. At once, they all began shouting questions at her, "What was that scream?" "What's going on Professor?" "Is Voldemort here?"

"Quiet! Settle down, Gryffindors!" She called out, as they all quieted.

"But Professor-"Ron started, peering over the heads of his fellow students.

"I assure Mr. Weasley, we will inform you as son as we find out exactly what is going on. Now, does anyone have a fast speedy owl? "She spotted off quickly, looking at all the frightened faces.

"Professor, I do!" Little Dennis Creevy stepped forward. "But, he's in the owlery."

McGonagall looked down at him and looked around. "Does anyone happen to have an owl on hand?" She looked around, as once again, Ron Weasley spoke above the heads of the others.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" She snapped out, already annoyed with him, but as soon as she said it, a small fluff ball zoomed into the back of the Fat Lady's portrait. Her eyes followed it, and she gasped. "What is the meaning of this?"

"That's Pig, Professor, my owl." Ron explained as blush rose to his cheeks. Pig then zoomed at Ron's head and he caught him quickly.

"That'll be good enough then, someone, please, parchment, quill, and ink!" She barked out orders as someone grabbed the three items from a table, handing them to her quickly. Professor McGonagall quickly scribbled a note and walked to Pig, who was bouncing on Ron's shoulder. "Mr. Weasley, calm your owl."

"Professor? May I just do it?" Ron said, clutching Pig in one hand as Ginny came forward to tie the letter to the hyper bird's leg. As soon as Ron released him, Pig went flying, straight into the window. Everyone laughed as Harry rushed to open the window, after which Pig went zooming to another tower on the other side of the school.

"Professor!" Lavender ran forward, pushing through a group of frightened first years.

McGonagall's eyes widen as she examined the girl in her nightclothes. "What is the meaning of this Miss Brown?" She asked heatedly, scowling at the girl in front of her.

"Professor...it's just that...Hermione's gone!" Lavender said, her high-[itched voice filled with worry and fright. At this, everyone began talking at once.

"Quiet!" Professor McGonagall yelled, she then barked out more orders. "Prefects, make sure everyone stays in the common room! If a single foot is placed outside of it then it's detention for a month! You three, come with me!" She said this last statement to Ron, Ginny, and Harry who quickly followed her out of the portrait hole, worried looks on their faces.

As soon as they came to the fork in the hallway that the two Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore had parted out moments before, they followed Dumbledore's trail, not long after they heard hard footsteps quickly drawing nearer as a figure came pounding towards them. McGonagall threw her arm in front of her students to halt them just as she stepped forward to meet the hysterical Sinistra.

"Oh! Minerva! It's horrible! Absolutely horrid!" She was clutching her face in her hands, a dark liquid dripping from her clothes. "Albus just sent me to fetch you! Oh, Minerva! Horrible, horrible!" She cried again as she stumbled past the fearful students, their eyes wide, watching her as she made her way to the hospital wing.

"Professor, are you sure we shouldn't go with her, to make sure she gets there alright?" Ginny said concernedly, not looking to the other woman as she spoke, she was still looking to the small trail that Professor Sinistra had left behind her.

"Your Astronomy Professor is a grown woman, I'm sure she will get there fine. We have more pressing matters at hand." McGonagall's voice wavered and her face was pale, she did not know why her colleague was covered in blood, but whatever the reason couldn't be good. "Come." The four quickened their pace towards the Astronomy Tower, arriving there in 5 minutes time.

McGonagall turned to her students before opening the door to which the landing what behind. "Prepare yourselves, for I fear the worst." She slowly opened the door and another bloodcurdling scream broke the particles in the still gray air of the morning.

Ronald Weasley caught his sister just as she fainted and stared glumly ahead of him. Harry net to him had fallen to his knees and had a glazed look in his eyes. "I just sent Professor Sinistra after you four not 6 10 minutes ago," Professor Dumbledore stated, his usually twinkling eyes not holding the same luster and shine as before. He looked sadly down at the figure at his feet and shook his head.

At that moment, Ginny Weasley came to and clutched her youngest brother's arm to steady herself, she was clammy with a cold sweat and she stared forward in the same manner as Harry. It was as if her mind was not in the same place as she was, as if what was in front of her was really there. She leaned on her brother and buried her head in his chest, sobbing without tears, her breath came with difficulty and she clutched her brother as if he were her life force.

Ron held his sister in his arms, staring blankly at his best mate, he too found breathing difficult and he was waiting to wake up at any moment. His best mate, the smartest witch ever, and he had wasted half their friendship arguing with her. He hung his head sadly, a small tear falling from his eye. He didn't want to look anymore, he had seen enough, he just wanted to wake up, but his comfort did not come, for he was already awake. This was his reality.

Harry Potter was on all fours slowly crawling to his friend's motionless body, he cut his hand on something sharp lying on the ground near her hand, which he grabbed quickly. His blood mingled with hers as he stared at her deepest wound, the one that had created this mess. His head moved forward as he caught a lump in his throat, his windpipe tightened and breath started to come in large rasps. He began retching as he felt two fragile, old, shaking hands pull him quietly away from the one girl he had ever loved. That's right, you read correctly, loved.

Minerva McGonagall pulled Harry Potter away from his friend, staring at the girl as she did so. She then made him stand, tears were flowing freely down the seventeen-year-old boy's face, but he didn't seem to notice. She then turned to the only two Weasley's left at the school, her face was tan compared to their clammy pale faces, which had each broken out into a sweat. She opened her mouth a couple of times, but only a hoarse whisper was heard. She gulped dryly and tried again, this time words were formed, "You three, you...need to go to the Hospital Wing. Your Headmaster and I will join you momentarily." With that, she pushed them back onto the now crimson stairs and closed the door.

"Albus, was it, Voldemort perhaps?" She said, quickly walking forward staring intently at the Headmaster.

"No, Minerva, I believe this was Miss Granger's own doing." He shook his head sadly and bent, picking up a small rectangular piece of metal off the blood-covered stone beside her. "The cuts on her arm were not procured from a wand, no, they were done with this." He held the blade to where his colleague could see and sighed heavily before pulling out his own wand. "Accio," he said rather blandly and soon a camera could be seen zooming up to them. Dumbledore caught it with his long-fingered hand and took a few pictures before handing the camera to McGonagall. He then said a simple charm that caused the blood to bubble and disappear. He then swished and flicked his wand, causing Hermione's wand to rise as Professor McGonagall conjured up a stretcher onto which Professor Dumbledore guided Hermione's body.

"Minerva, please alert the Heads of Houses to keep their students in their common rooms until further notice, it seems classes will have to be postponed for today. Ten, if you will, please come to the Hospital Wing before heading back to your house, I believe the Gryffindors will want to be told of their classmate's condition." And with that, Professor Dumbledore turned with the swish of his cloak and took the quickest route to the Hospital Wing, leaving Minerva McGonagall standing speechless.

Back in the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey was trying to relax a hysteric Professor Sinistra while Ron paced the room, much to the disapproval of a haughty Ginny, she had her arms crossed as silent tears fell down her cheeks. "Ronald Weasley, will you please stop before you drive me insane!" Ginny yelled at her brother, making a dazed Harry jump from his seat. Ron stopped and stared at his sister before quickly moving to her and hugging her, causing her to collapse in a fit of tears. Harry just stared at the two for a moment before he looked at the ground, watching a tear fall to the floor in front of him. He shook his head and wiped his eyes.

Suddenly, the doors to the hospital wing opened as a still unconscious, but rather cleaner Hermione was led in on a stretcher magicked into the air by an advancing Professor Dumbledore who nodded to Madame Pomfrey before levitating Hermione's body onto a bed.

Madame Pomfrey rushed forward and took one look at the body before turning to Dumbledore, a frightened look on her face. "Albus, she isn't...." she gave a wary look back at Harry, Ron, and Ginny before completing her sentence in an audible whisper near Dumbledore's ear. "Dead?"

A/N: And I leave you at that. Is she dead? Well, you'll have to find out in the next chapter. Anyways, on with the bad news I promised to tell you at the end of the chapter. My story was rejected at when I attempted to submit it there. The person who sent me an e-mail to inform me of this depressing news said that it seemed I was too lazy to write a 'beginning' to the story. They said I started in the middle. Well, I was a bit angered by this, I started the story where I wanted it to be started, thank you! But, the stupid people got me thinking, therefore, somewhere between now and the next few chapters, I'm going to most likely write a 'Missing Chapter'. I hate that that e-mail inspired me, but it did, I kind of already have the 'missing' chapter figured out in my head. I'm thinking of writing it soon, all I would like if you would say yes or no to the 'Missing Chapter' idea. If you don't want it, then I won't post it on this site, I just want to use it to show those stupid people at that I'm not last when it comes to my story! Okay, that's all, happy reviewing. Oh yeah...I was hoping that y'all could do me a big favor and kind of press that periwinkle button that has the word GO on it. Don't worry, It won't bite, I promise. It just takes you to this screen where you can type whatever you want! Sounds fun, don't it? Happy reviewing! (Oh yeah...can you believe it? The chapter took up four pages, beating the review replies by ONE page! I'm sorry...I gotta start writing longer chapters don't I? Dang....)


	11. The Fatal Truth

A/N: Okay folks, I'm hoping that I can finish writing this chapter tonight! I hope you all liked the last one. I'm trying to update faster, a LOT faster. Well, on with the review replies!

BitterRoseMary: Hey, I'm glad you like the idea, but I think I'm gonna hold it off and make it as the very last chapter, or I'll write it whenever I can't quite figure out what's gonna happen next in the story.

FanJimmy: Me either.

NightChild87: Hey, I don nothing more than reading and writing stories too, it's the way of an American. (Sighs, I wish I were from England...) I'm so glad this is one of your favorites, I also saw a couple of my reviewers profiles that had my story and name under their favorites categories! It made me all hungry; I mean warm and fuzzy, hehe. I love Dory's little 'Swimming' song, my friends and I sing it all the time!

LiteBluEyes: Thanks so much for all the compliments, I like very much. I try very hard on all the detail that I put into the story. Thanks for reading!

DanielLover12: I can't wait to read more of your story! Thanks for reading mine!

Monkeyfeet180: All I have to say is haha, I hope this is a soon enough update!

ILoveKp: I know...I am evil, aren't I? (Insert evil laugh here) Thanks for reading!

Grants Beetle: I'm so GLAD that you're GLAD! Hehe, you'll have to wait and see what happens. Confessions? Possibly...

Kostami Amino: Well, impatience is a virtue...or maybe it was patience....I don't know...anyways, here you go!

Shining-Brightly: Well, we'll have to see if it can get better, because I'm trying my hardest to do just that! Maybe there won't be so many queasy scenes from here on forward!

Mystical Spirits: I've seen some stories where people did two versions of how a chapter could go, and most of those were humor stories, but I just couldn't resist doing it. I had it all planned out, I hope it didn't upset anyone. Anyways, I'm skipping the 'Missing Chapter' for now, so on with the others!

HayleyPotter: Number one: I'm sorry for confusing you, but the part where Harry passed out was part of the fake chapter that I put in to fool y'all. Maybe you should read over the chapter; maybe that will help with the confusion, if not, I will be glad to try and help relieve the confusion. And, how can you be so sure that they WILL get together? (Evil laugh)

Andi: It's alright; it's just nice to know who my readers are sometimes. It seems that the sucking in of my story has happened to many before you...I hope my story isn't a type of drug. If it is then...err...nifty? Okay...I'm confusing myself...

The-Insufferable-Know-It-All: Oh come on...you know I couldn't let all of y'all down! Of course I continued!

PinkPixieDust16: Yay another reader who has nothing but compliments to give me!!! I feel hungry again, I mean, warm and fuzzy...hehe, that's my new thing. I'm so glad that all of you think that everyone is in character, because I tried bloody hard to do just that. And, I'm not bothered by the language, just because I don't use it unless quoting someone doesn't mean I find it offensive. Don't worry, I'm evil too!

Dan-fan2007: Thanks so much! I guess crying is a good thing, because so many people do it along with all the compliments they give me! Wah! Y'all are gonna make me cry...oh...wait...that's the pain in my mouth... (I got two teeth pulled today)

Lonely Magician: Yes, it's a sad story, but it may get happier, I still don't know what direction I'm heading in. Emotions cloud many people's judgment when they are put in this situation.

AC DC girl2029: I'm glad I continued writing too, cause I don't want all of y'all hating me! Thanks!

Weasley's Girl35: We have our own word! Awesome! (Does a happy dance, hehe)

Katie101: The 'Missing Chapter' will come later in the story, until then you will obviously be seeing new chapters! I can see what happens after each of the options of letting Hermione die or not, but which one did I choose? You'll have to read on to find out!

PoTtErRuLz140: Well, hurry up I did, and here is the next chapter. And I can't help it...I love writing cliffies! For some reason it makes me feel hungry (warm and fuzzy) whenever I write a good one!

Melody: Well, thanks for the ideas, I already have what's gonna happen (meaning whether she's dead or not) but input from the readers is always welcome!

GenVessel: Yes, I am evil...I can't help it. (Evil laugh) Well, my life is a bit horrid, but I don't want to bring my readers down by saying anything about it. I've done enough of that. You know, I am a good spelling/grammar checker for my friends all the time, but I think having a beta would be easier, because I'm not as good at looking over my own work. Usually, I just am too lazy to look over it. Thanks for the offer, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks for reading and reviewing and offering.

Now, on with the story! Enjoy!

Albus Dumbledore looked at the nurse in front of him; she was wringing her hands nervously and staring at the young student's body. She then looked back at Dumbledore who was also staring at Hermione's form. Neither of them had noticed that the other four occupants in the room had all stood and were staring nervously at Dumbledore awaiting his answer.

Dumbledore looked at Madame Pomfrey and gave her a small smile. "I assure you, Poppy, Miss Granger is not dead. She is merely hanging onto the life she has by a small string. It is essential that we transport her to St. Mungo's immediately. Now, I must talk to her friends, if you will inform St. Mungo's of their new resident." He nodded to her as he swept the 10 feet to the three worried, pale faces that were staring up at him.

"I understand that you are worried about your friend." Ginny gave him a look at this before she sat, her legs shaking as if they were about to buckle out from under her. Dumbledore gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm going to announce to the school what has happened at tonight's dinner, as we don't want any rumors flying around, as they spread quickly in this school." He waited as their heads slightly nodded in reply. "I will allow you to miss school for a couple of hours each week to visit her in St. Mungo's until she is well. Now, I suggest you say nothing to your peers until tonight. Off to your common room, studies will be postponed for today." With that he joined Poppy at Professor Sinistra's side. The owl to t. Mungo's had already been sent.

"They will be here within the hour, Professor. She is going into the Spell Damage ward; they found that the best place to put her. You know, since they keep..." She looked warily at Harry, Ron, and Ginny who were in the doorway and had come to a halt, listening intently. "Long term occupants." She began wringing her hands again.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny left at this, with worried looks on their faces. Harry looked to the other two, "I wonder how come she's not going to a normal hospital?" They looked at him with confused expressions. "Well, many Muggles commit...I mean attempt...err...do that to themselves." He gulped and looked to the floor.

Ron tried to give some input, but all that came out was, "Cuzshezaweechnthafouherhir." He then gave up after this, acknowledging that the other two weren't in the mood to talk.

Suddenly, before they reached the Fat Lady's portrait, Ginny burst out, "It's all our fault!" and she fell to her knees crying openly. Harry and Ron both bent to help her up, Ron put his arm around his sister's waist to keep her steady as she walked, sobbing into his shoulder. Ron gave Harry a grave look over Ginny's head, but Harry didn't return it, for he wasn't there anymore.

Ron halted and looked around just in time to see Harry rounding the corner, obviously running back to the Hospital Wing. Ron shook his head sadly as Ginny urged him to keep moving. They went into the common room after Ron barely whispered the password "nun-chucks" to the Fat Lady. Everyone stared at them, but knew they weren't up for talking so they pushed through the crowd of Gryffindors and headed to their separate dormitories.

After 15 minutes had passed of Ron staring at the stone ceiling with a dazed expression, Harry came slowly into the dormitory, throwing himself onto his own four-poster bed. Ron looked over to him and turned on his side, waiting for Harry to speak.

Harry's voice was muffled because he had his face buried in his pillow, but Ron heard his cry of anguish, "She awedy weff." Then Harry's wand swished as his curtains closed around him. Ron could hear small gasps of breath coming from Harry's bed that signified he was sobbing.

Ron also closed his hangings and tears began to fall from his eyes, he closed them in an attempt to stop the tears, but to no avail. Soon Harry and Ron both drifted off into an exhausted sleep. While Ginny in her dormitory was sitting up, completely awake. Ginny was cursing herself with every word she knew, while sobbing terribly at the same time. Tears poured from the petite girl's eyes onto her pillow as she gasped for breath and wallowed in her misery.

Lavender and Parvati entered the room cautiously and sat on Ginny's either side, wrapping comforting arms about her shoulders. Ginny let out an exasperated cry at this, "It's all my fault!" before she buried her head in her pillow and let herself fall onto Lavender's shoulder. Parvati rubbed her back while whispering words of comfort and coos. Ginny sobbed for 5 hours straight with Lavender and Parvati trying their hardest to comfort her all the while. Soon, a fourth year none of them knew entered the room and informed them that the whole school was being called to dinner.

They nodded in thanks and stood, pulling Ginny up with them. She clutched Lavender's arm tightly with one of her own, while she used her other to wipe her red, puffy eyes. The three then walked down into the common room, joining the crowd of Gryffindors heading out of the portrait hole and down to the Great Hall.

Meanwhile, Neville had quickly run up to the seventh year boys' dormitory to wake Harry and Ron who were both having a fitful sleep. He shook Ron slowly and woke him instantly. "Whatcha gotta do that fer Neville?" Ron asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"Dumbledore's just called us down to dinner. He wants the whole school there." Neville said, eyeing Harry's sleeping form warily.

Ron caught this and nodded to Neville through a yawn. "Thanks Neville, you better go see Ginny, she probably needs you; I'll wake Harry." Ron stood and stretched as he tried to stop his face from tightening in the attempt to cry again, instead he made and awful contortion that made Neville back away.

"Thanks Ron, you're probably right. I'll see you at dinner then." And with that, Neville bolted down to the common room and hurried out of the portrait hole after Parvati, Lavender, and Ginny.

Ron walked slowly over to his best mate's bed and opened the hangings. "Harry, mate, it's time for dinner. Dumbledore wants the whole school there, probably for he announcement...you know..." He tried to sound off hand as Harry sat up and put on his glasses to stare groggily at Ron, but the sadness wavered through every note of his deep voice. Harry just nodded in reply and stood, he obviously had had the worst sleep ever because it showed. His robes were askew and his hair was even messier than usual (if that's at all possible) and he had marks on his face where the blankets' folds had been beneath his face. Ron decided not to mention this, as he was sure that he himself didn't look much better.

The two solemn faced boys headed out of their dormitory to join the rest of the school in the Great Hall. They got many stares as they passed between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, but they paid no mind, they took a seat next to Ginny, who was obviously all cried out. She had her head in her hands and was staring at the top of the table. Neville was rubbing small circles over her back in an attempt to comfort her. Lavender looked at Ron and squeezed his hand in reassurance. Harry sat numbly next to the two couples, wishing Hermione were there to comfort him.

It then hit him that that wasn't possible, but he wished it so anyway. As the last of the stragglers hurried into the Great Hall and took their seats, Dumbledore stood. His eyes not twinkling like the few stars that shown in the bewitched ceiling above the students' heads.

He raised his arms to settle everyone, and all eyes were upon him. "I have some very grave news to share with you on this evening of March the thirteenth. It seems today has lived up to its name of being an unlucky day, Friday the Thirteenth." He then paused looking at all the confused faces staring at him. "You see, there is a certain Miss Granger who you will not find in our midst on this evening. She has been taken to St. Mungo's for her life is in jeopardy." He paused again, allowing time for the many reactions he knew this information would receive. "Miss Granger was found atop the Astronomy Tower early this morning by our very own professor Sinistra. She was found unconscious with many open wounds. It seems that she inflicted these wounds upon herself and tried to take her own life at an early hour underneath the twilight sky. Fortunately, her plan did not succeed, for she was found and transported to St. Mungo's immediately. We await further information, which of course, will be shared with the school as her condition progresses." And with that he sat, after which erupted many voices at once. Harry, Ron, and Ginny could only stare at the food that had appeared in front of them.

As if all thinking the same thing, the three spoke out loud simultaneously, "It's all my fault."

A/N: Okay, folks, I realize this chapter didn't come to be very long, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways. I now must go and tae a whole bottle of ibuprofen because my mouth is killing me. Please review while you wait for the next chapter to be released. Oh, yes, once I finish this story, I wanted to do an own character type story, where some Americans come to Hogwarts. Of course it will still include the main characters of JK Rowlings great works; I just wanted to add a few of my own. Of course, the story I am speaking of will be a lively change compared to this one. Well, review and tell me your ideas. (Oh, and for those of you who have read my other fic, I'm going to FINALLY post another chapter for it, either tonight or tomorrow) Well, happy reviewing! Aren't you proud in my quickness to update?


	12. Hello St Mungo's

A/N: Okay, y'all know the drill, review replies then the newest addition to my story, let's get started:

BitterRoseMary: Yay! I got a treat!

Hermione's Boyfriend: It is alright you do not sound stupid, it is something to do with my computer, it never let's me type out e-mail addresses or web addresses (smacks her computer, owies! That hurt) It is located at ) There, maybe that will show up. I'd be glad to e-mail you when I updated, but you ARE a member of Fanfiction, right? All you have to do is put me on your author alert list. But, if that does not work, then I will try to e-mail you whenever I update.

HayleyPotter: I know I am evil! (Evil laugh, and coughs in between, oops...neh) Go ahead and kill me, I won't mind, hehe.

ILoveKp: Very funny. I imagined you put great 499 times though...I don't know how to count to 500...(sob)

GrantsBeetle: Exactly...who knows? (Begins looking for someone who knows the answer)

NightChild87: No, it's not bad to think that, for it is true. Yeah, I thought up the Friday the Thirteenth thing right off the top of my head...which isn't really new...considering I do that every time I write...okay7...forget I said anything.

Melody: Well, I don't really have all the story planned out, just parts, I'll gladly accept your input, as well as anyone else's!

AC DC 2029: I'm not guaranteeing that either of those things will happen. (Laughs evilly)

The-Insufferable-Know-It-All: Err...I think in a previous chapter (either 9 or 10) Harry realized it, so I've fulfilled that wish for you!

Sylphide: Oh, thanks! Yeah, I'm trying to fix the spelling and grammar problems as we speak, or as I type or whatever. Yay! I got added to someone's favorites!

PinkPixieDust16: Yay, I'm not alone! I'm a Harry/Hermione shipper too, although I don't mind the random Draco/Hermione shipper, yes, I'm weird. I'd love to read that story you referred me to read. I'm hoping it's in your favorite stories or authors so that I can get to it easy, cause I'm LAZY! And after I read it, I will put it in my next author's note.

What's In A Name Anyway???: I just realized that I had not put the three question marks after your name until now, sorry! Well, I think it might take a while for Hermione to forgive them. (it's a hint folks!) And I'm doing better than chapter 9, how are you?

Hermione-Potter- 52036: Thanks for reading, you're a first time reviewer. Yay! I got another one! Well, I hope you no longer do that, because I'm a concerned type of person who thinks about others and not herself.

MissLexiRe: Thank you for your compliments and concerns. I'm glad my story is letting people know what real life is all about. It's something everyone needs to know. And they need to know how to deal with it in case anyone they know begins to do it.

Dan-Fan2007: Well, I hope I never take FOREVER to update, although, my updates may come slower once school starts, DUN-DUN-DUN! But, I'll try not let that happen.

Chris-Warren876: I'm sorry that you have cut yourself, and I hope you do not anymore. I just know that I never felt anything when I did it, and most others that have done it that I know did not feel anything as well, so, that is how I wrote it.

Weasley's Girl35: Dumbasses! Lol, I hope you don't die, then you wouldn't be able to read the rest of my story!

Katie101: Yeah, you know I couldn't let Hermione die, or else I wouldn't have much of a story to write anymore!

HarryNDracosDarlin: I don't cry very much either, but I was reading over my own story and I realized that it is quite a tearjerker, and I also got a bit queasy myself, which I was surprised about, considering I have seen myself cut myself many times, but I never got QUITE as far as Hermione. Oh, and I think I put that first 'ending' in chapter ten to show how it affects people when you actually succeed, and I'm glad my story convinced you to never cut. I feel proud of myself now. Now, I'm getting too ambitious, for I want the world to read my story, just to understand what cutting's all about.

HarryPotterFan014: I do that all the time (referring to the fact that I want someone to update, when in fact, they already have) And Hermione is a real person in a way, because there's a Hermione in all of us. Oh...gracious...I sound like a psychologist of some sort. NO! I will do a Missing Chapter, but my priority right now is to let the story progress where it is, although I will bring about the 'Missing Chapter' sooner or later. I shall most definitely read your story, and if you need a beta or anything to that affect, then I volunteer myself now!

Well, that's all folks, on with the story! Enjoy!

Harry and Ron sat in a daze through all their morning classes, and they skipped lunch along with Ginny, who dragged them to the library. They figured it was a type of honor to Hermione, which they didn't argue against. They took seats at the table farthest from the door, the one at which Hermione would always sit. Ron got the book _Hogwarts, A History_**, **while Ginny and Harry were occupying themselves with other books that were upon the list of Hermione's favorites. Ginny held_Modern Magical History_ in her gaze as Harry pulled _The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts_. It was their tribute to Hermione's not being able to be in the library with them.

Ginny checked her watch glumly and gasped. "We have 5 minutes until next class!" She then began to cry, as Harry and Ron passed looks between each other, their eyes wide with ignorance.

Ron put his hand on Ginny's shoulder, "Ginny, what...?" And suddenly Ginny stood and glared harshly at Ron, a look that would even make Mrs. Wesley run for her money. Ron leaned back as Ginny leaned her face near his, her eyes burning into his own and her hair framing her face as if it were a fire itself.

"Ronald Weasley, have you not realized that it is ALL our faults that Hermione Granger is no longer sitting here as usual, have you realized that it is OUR faults that she can't be laughing and hurrying off to class with you two? Have you even given it ONE thought? Have you NO heart?" And with this she poked him roughly in the chest with her finger, her green nail putting a slight hole in his robe and the skin beneath it.

Ron was stammering aimlessly as suddenly Madam Pince was upon them. Ginny suddenly cowered, ready for her reprimendation (oh, Yay! It IS a word! then sees the red line under the word or not...oh well, I'm leaving it there so y'all can share a laugh with me) but it didn't come, instead, the usually cross librarian gave them a sympathetic look before she spoke, "Professor Dumbledore requests you in his office." She then turned to return to her desk before she turned to face the standing students. She whispered quietly to them this time, "The password is Biting Teacup, he seems to have taken a fancy to them lately." She bustled quickly away, as if nothing had been said.

The three gloomy students then gathered their books and put them into their bags before leaving the library quickly, hoping their Headmaster had good news.

Ginny leaned against Ron, once again on the verge of tears as Harry led them to the gargoyle behind which the Headmaster's office lay. "Biting Teacups," he said loudly before stepping onto the moving staircase, transferring Ginny to his own shoulder, seeing as there was only enough space for one to move over the threshold at a time, allowing Ron to step on before the gargoyle jumped back into place.

The door to Dumbledore's office opened as soon as the staircase halted and the three walked in, expectant looks on their faces. Dumbledore looked up at them and nodded as he tapped a small box that he held with his thin, long fingers. "I have called you here...come, come, grab a hold..." He beckoned them forward and held out the box for each of them to lay a finger upon before he continued, "So that you can visit your dear friend who resides in St. Mungo's at this moment. Ah, dear Minerva, you have arrived just in time....she, will escort you." He said as Professor McGonagall stole into the office, taking a hole of the box as well. She gave a slight nod to each of the students before turning back to Dumbledore.

"You know I don't like these things, Albus,"she said in worried tone, now, this would have proved quite amusing to the three Gryffindors, had the occasion not been so solemn.

"Now, dear Minerva, you know you must..." he lifted his wrist and gaze at his watch, pointing his finger at nothing in particular as he counted, "One, two, three.." He then gave a smirk (Did Dumbledore just smirk? Hehe) and a wave as the four felt a pull somewhere behind there navels and were swept off to central London.

They all fell, yes, Professor McGonagall fell, as they found themselves in an alley beside a seemingly deserted fashion boutique. The almost grotesque mannequin who were missing eyes and noses and tilted slightly in a menacing way stared at them as they dusted themselves off and stepped in front of one's who wig was on crooked. McGonagall leaned towards the glass separating she and the mannequin and spoke in a low whisper, hoping not to bring any attention to she and the three Gryffindors, one of which was holding an old box tightly while she sobbed loudly.

Ron hugged Ginny's shoulders with one arm as McGanagall motioned for the three to follow her through the glass in front of which they stood. They all walked through in a casual manner as they came into a rather large lobby, full of many disturbingly grotesque witches and wizards. One of which, and most probably the worst-looking, had a foot sticking out of his eye socket and his hands were sticking out where his backside would have been. A rather alarming sight met them as they neared the information desk. A witch was turning all shades of colors as she became smaller then bigger again at random moments. Ginny stopped crying immediately when she saw this, her brain too occupied with awe to continue its previous action.

Professor McGonagall spoke to the obviously rattled witch who sat behind the welcome desk. She sat up importantly though when she saw Harry and his scar, obviously left uncovered for all his hair was sticking up at odd angles. After a few words were passed between the two older witches. And a smile given to Harry, McGonagall led them to a stairwell, which, once inside, they were isolated from all the noise protruding from the waiting room.

After climbing a sire few stairs, compared to the many countless stairs that were located in Hogwarts, they reached two metal double doors. McGonagall stopped and faced her students before opening the doors. "She is in critical condition, and is obviously in a state of complete unconsciousness. It seems to be what the Muggles call a coma." Harry gasped at this while Ron and Ginny exchanged looks of confusion. "It means she at a stage where she is neither dead nor living, she is barely holding on and could be lost at any moment." Professor McGonagall paused at this, trying to stifle a sob but failing as her chin quivered dangerously.

"Can we please....just go in?" Ginny implored quietly, not wanting to hear anymore. McGonagall nodded at this and slowly opened one of the doors with one arm as a mediwitch came forward to meet them. The four were thankful she didn't smile, McGonagall mainly was thankful for this because she was afraid that either of Hermione's friends would pounce at the slightest exposition of happiness.

"You are here to see Miss Granger, correct?" She stood with her hands clasped in front of her as the three teenagers nodded slowly. "Please, follow me." She led them down a long hall and through a door on the right. The three Hogwarts students rushed forward as they saw their motionless friend lying in a white hospital bed.

Ginny immediately began sobbing again as Ron wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders you could see his mouth opening and closing in an involuntary fashion. Tears slowly fell from Harry's eyes and rolled down his cheek as he bravely took hold of Hermione's cold hand, careful not to touch the thick jade paste that was plastered over her most recent wounds. He blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears from falling but failing.

Professor McGonagall stood a few feet behind them and stared at her most prized student, wondering what could have happened to make such a seemingly stable girl to cross the line that she had. McGonagall's chin continued to quiver as she wrung her hands fretfully. The nurse who had been standing in the doorway while this scene was being played spoke, breaking the silence and causing all four able-bodied heads to turn and look at her. "Her parents have already been to visit her today, and I'm sorry to inform you, but I can only allow fifteen more minutes, the mediwizard while be back shortly and he needs to run some tests." She clapped her hands softly and exited the room at this last word, leaving the four to their silence.

Harry's thumb rubbed over the back of Hermione's hand, trying to spread warmth through it to no avail. Ron sat with a glazed look in his eyes, unblinking as he took in the sight before him. Tears flowed steadily from Ginny's eyes as she gasped involuntarily at intervals, but her eyes did not leave her friend's face the whole time. The three friends continued to sit, their stares unwavering, their expressions changing from sad to gloomy, from gloomy to disheartened, while the teacher stood, worried expression staying on her face as she observed the four students before her.

The mediwitch returned and reluctantly informed them that time was up before carting Hermione into another private room. The four stares followed each action as they leaned on each other for support. McGonagall wrapped her arms around the three's shoulders and led them back into the stairwell and down the stairs, back into central London. They then took their places around the box in the alley as they felt the all too familiar pull from somewhere behind their navels and were swept back into Dumbledore's office.

A/N: I hoped you liked it! And I hope it was long enough! Hmm...I seem to have forgotten whatever else I was meaning to say once I had finished writing. I added a bit of humor in, although it was subtle and uncalled for, this being a very serious chapter. Well, I hoped you liked! Please, please, please, review. I love you all! Thanks to you all!


	13. She's Back!

A/N: Okay, I'll try to make the author replies very short, as I have realized that they take up more room than the story, unless I see a question or something that I want to say something back to about in a review, then I will just state your name, no more lengthy replies that you all tire of. Okay, that is all...on with the shorter, revised style of replies!

Okay, That's all, enjoy!

Hermione stayed in a coma for three months, gaining her life back thread by thread, grain by grain, little by little. Her friends would visit three times a week for 30 minutes maximum each visit. Harry would always take the chair closest to her, trying to spread warmth to her through his fingers that always clutch her own.

Ginny always sat huddled in a chair rocking back and forth, sobbing while Ron would try to comfort his little sister and stare at his friend, tears falling from his glazed eyes ever so often. A different teacher transported them each time, even Snape.

The three friends paid no mind to Snape, which gave him a chance to look down-hearted at the unconscious student. Yes, Snape felt sorry for her, because her frailty and depression showed him something he had forgotten so long ago. Himself, himself while he was in school. While, at the same time, he loathed her, he loathed her for reminding him of it, only Dumbledore knew what went through Snape's mind when he went on these visits. Snape honored Dumbldore above all others, but this story is not about Snape and his internal feelings, no, it is about Hermione.

And this such Hermione awoke from her coma one day while her friends were visiting with Professor Sinistra. All four were talking over Hermione, trying to find the doctor so they could find out how she was progressing, when Hermione's eyes slowly opened. Her finger twitched as she felt she couldn't move it, she thought this was because of paralysis, but the real reason was that it was being held, as usual, by Harry.

Harry felt her finger move and turned his head to look at the form of Hermione who's eyes portrayed a sadness he couldn't believe, he then turned his head back to continue the conversation when...Eyes! How did he know what her eyes portrayed!?!

He quickly turned his head again to see Hermione's eyes blinking at him in a confused daze. He quickly stood, a smile spreading across his face for the first time in ages. Ginny and Ron watched him and then turned their gaze to Hermione in turn, smiles automatically filling out their faces as a reflex. Professor Sinistra turned from the door at the sound of a voice, a girl's voice, and it wasn't Ginny's.

The Professor smiled widely and ran to the bedside as Hermione's mouth continued to open and closed with a hoarse whisper escaping each time. She hadn't used her vocal chords in so long, she had to awaken them slowly, as well as the rest of her body that was covered in an odd tingling sensation. The professor continued smiling until she realized she was the adult in the room and had to act responsibly. "We must get a doctor! Oh, I'll do it! Don't go anywhere!" She had no idea what she was saying, of course Hermione wasn't going anywhere, she had just woken from a long nap.

Hermione slowly sat up with the help of her friends and she looked around, still blinking in a confused fashion. All her friends were standing around her, mouths gaping, but still smiling, waiting for her to speak. They were too afraid to speak themselves, for they feared that they were all dreaming, and any disturbance on their part would cause the dream to vanish immediately, leaving an unconscious Hermione in their midst once again.

Soon, a mediwitch and mediwizard came quickly into the room. Hermione looked at them, still in her confused daze as they pulled the four visitors away form her. The friends (and teacher) protested but the mediwitch insisted that the doctors dun some tests before Hermione was exposed to anymore excitement.

"Wait a second, you mean to say, that our best mate just woke up, and we can't even rejoice with her!?!" Ron yelled angrily at the door, while Ginny and Harry held him back from knocking the poor witch to the floor.

"Now, now, you don't have to leave. Just go on up to the fifth floor and we'll send an attendant to come and get you once the tests are done..." She said this with her voice shaking, having an angry, tall seventeen year old wasn't something this frail, old witch was used to dealing with.

Professor Sinistra came to her senses and reprimanded Ron before asking, "May I borrow and owl, Professor Dumbledore will surely want to know, as the whole school is worried about Miss Granger." She was wringing her hands in the same worried fashion that Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey had before her.

The mediwitch shook her head, "I think it best to wait until after we have run the tests, because there is no way to ensure that she is not to go back into her state of unbeing." She shook her head sadly as she led the four to the stairwell, while Professor Sinistra nodded understandingly and the smiles wiped quickly off of the shocked friends' faces.

The four trudged silently up the stairs to the fifth floor and sat in the lobby that was located there. Ron's legs kept shaking in a frantic fashion before he jumped up and began pacing. "So, they're basically telling us that Hermione could go back into a moca any minute?"

Harry didn't bother to correct Ron on his blunder over the word coma but instead shook his head sadly, while Ginny piped up beside him, silent tears starting to stream down her face again, "Wait a second, this is Hermione we're talking about. She's strong, she can make it! She won't leave us again, will she?" Ahe added, bringing her hand to her mouth, starting to sob again.

Professor Sinistra wrapped an arm around Ginny's shoulders and sniffed loudly. "Don't worry Ginny, you're right. Hermione is a strong smart witch; she'll make it this time." She shook her head sadly as a tear ran down her cheek. Teahcers have a right to care about students, don't they?

Harry had sat there silently, listening to everyone's ideas about Hermione when he couldn't contain himself anymore. "If she's so strong then why'd she do that to herself? Huh?" He stood and yelled at them in a rage, he didn't care if Professor Sinistra was a teacher, he was angry with them for being so foolish. They had all made the mistake of thinking her strong before, and look what had come of it!

He angrily kicked the wall as other visitors stared at him, shielding their small children and wide-eyed. As soon as he had done this the mediwitch came through the stairwell double doors looking around for our main four. She saw them and gave a small smile, seeing two of them crying and one of them in a rage. Ron was just sitting there stupidly, go figure.

"Hermione is fine, she's no where near the state of shock that sent her into the coma, I think it's alright if you four go down to see her, but you only have five minutes, Miss Granger needs her rest." The mediwitch smiled sweetly as she led them back to Hermione's room, but Ron stopped her in the doorway.

"but...Miss, hasn't she rested enough?" Ron was of course knew to the idea of not resting when you are sleeping.

The mediwitch chuckled slightly before answering, "You see, she wasn't resting when she was in her state of unbeing. It seems to be that when one is in that stage, that they are in a state of forever dream. And they live although they aren't here. Do you understand?" She watched as Ron shook his head in reply before she went on, "Although it doesn't seem as if it would, dreaming takes a lot out of you, especially when you do it for three months straight."

Ron still didn't understand, but he nodded as if he did, because he and his friends could not wait another moment to see Hermione, so the mediwitch opened to door and led them to Hermione with one last word, "Please, take it easy today, she is still very weak, I will be back to let you know when it is time to leave."

They all crowded around Hermione, then Professor Sinistra that she'd want her friends there, so she took a step back, allowing Hermione's friends to close in on Hermione more.

Hermione sat there, staring at her 'friends' with a frown on her face. She didn't know why they were there. She blinked a couple of times as she turned her gaze from one to the other, taking in their smiling, expectant faces. She shook her head slightly and looked down, immediately their expressions became confused.

She felt her hand be taken into someone else's and looked up, Harry was staring her in the eyes, her eyebrows bent in anger and she quickly renched her hand out of his.

This confused the three even further, while Professor Sinistra came to a slow understanding, she quickly seated herself at a table and began scribbling on a piece of parchment, writing to Dumbledore while the four friends reunited.

The three able-bodied friends exchanged confused glances before their gazes returned to Hermione.

The door to the rom opened and the mediwitch came in, just as Harry voiced the question all three were wondering before, "Hermione, what's wrong?"

Hermione just looked at them all, her eyebrows still bent in anger. The nurse looked at the scene in front of her worriedly as she made her way over to Professor Sinistra, who shook her head silently and stood to inform the other visitors that it was time to go.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny stood, knowing what their professor was about to tell them, but they wanted to hear Hermione's answer, which came out in a slow whisper, right before they were all to the door.

She wasn't looking at anyone, but her angry expression was still planted on her face, she had her arms in her lap and she was staring at them, her anger changing to confusion, then, she spoke to the air, forgetting that others were in the room, "I'm supposed to be dead."

A/N: Well, that's it for this chapter, can you believe it? I'm going a chapter a day! Well, I have a feeling that this small burst of uick updating will end very soon, because I start school this Monday, so enjoy it while it lasts! Please keep reading and reviewing, I love you all! (Oh, yeah, I tried out my idea for my own character kind of story, if any of you want to check that out, it's call The Four Missing Things) Oh, and Hermione's Boyfriend...I tried putting up the name of that website, but I realized that, once again, it didn't show for some reason, so...here it is (you'll just have to take out the spaces between everything, if this doesn't work, then I dunno what will) It's this: p o r t k e y dot (put an actual dot there) o r g. Okay, I hope that shows up. Thanks again for reading!


	14. Confrontation

A/N: Oh my gracious! I didn't get to write on Sunday because all the preparing for school the next day, and the watching of Kill Bill 2, which was awesome! Anyways...I got online after school...at 10:00 at night (I don't have school tomorrow, not until Wednesday, my school is weird) and I had 84 mail in my inbox! Only about five were from people I know, only three Spam and about five author/chapter alerts for stories I'm reading, while the rest were all review alerts! I about fainted, literally! Y'all rock, and...Now I'm off to count how many new readers I got...begins counting very slowly, because she's still in shock I have 16! That's a lot for just one-day's absence! I love you, all my new reviewers, I hope many more chapters will come where I will be able to get to know you better, like my old reviewers, who I love too!hugs each of themBut, now to the naming of all my reviewers, which, many, I think I have things to say to, so bear with me for the first few pages, the story will come eventually, and to those who don't care about what I have to say...sobyou can just scroll down, you gits...just skip all my sentimental words! Just joking of course, I understand I am boring quite a bit of the time, so, to the review naming of the names...and that made no sense whatsoever...oh well, you know what I mean, right? You've known me long enough by now...I mean well enough...hehe...I'm such a screw up! (Oh, and I'm SO sorry I missed the one a day thing, really...stupid school...screws everything up...)

Weasley's Girl35

Tararambaiel 

MysticalSpirits

Slyphide

Kostami Amino

JayJay

Andi

Megs

Holly- I think you may need to reread the first chapter, I tried to give a pretty thorough list of why she was so depressed...if that doesn't work, then maybe you should reread over the whole story, and if that still doesn't work, then I'll try to fix the complication.

Fanjimmy-Can you REALLY expect her to just SUDDENLY stop being suicidal? This is a story about REAL life...things like this change GRADUALLY...any more questions? Just put 'em in your reviews.

Dreamy

DaydreamQueenMisha-You are not alone...

Starlight-Heart

ILoveKp

LightWingDragon-Thank you, although...I think this year's gonna be a rough yeargroan, complain

GrantsBeetle-I'm gonna take all of that as a compliment.

TexasGoddess-I'm only one state away from you...the horrid Louisiana!

NightChild87-Hermione has just begun her rampage...she will be mad...do not worry...

Katie101

McDoogleSchNoogle-Nifty name HarryPotterFan014

AC DC Girl2029

The-Insufferable-Know-It-All

NOYB-If you happen to read this chapter, I would like a more specific criticism so that I can improve on my writing skills. I tried to make it as believable as possible, I understand that Hermione is seen as strong-willed, but almost any under the pressure that she is would resort to this, or something like it. Well, I doubt you are even reading this, so I shall waste my faithful readers' time no more.

TaylorAngel72-I really don't know, but my friends and I considered it to be either Professor Sinistra or possibly Professor Flitwick...although it COULD be someone such as Professor Hector...but I'm not sure. My friends and I just saw Professor Sinistra as the best candidate (we decided this in sixth grade...and still loyally stand by our decision, now being in the tenth grade...I suddenly feel old...so I'm gonna shut up...)

ColorGuardBaby23-Actually, ever since I got braces, I've started to grit my teeth...a habit I gave up when I was younger...urgh! Darn you braces! And so...my teeth hurt now...

Elebriwien13

ACTORPEY-What happened to that friend...I'm curious, and I'd love to read your stories, I will do so once I have time...stupid school has me reading for at least the first month! Agh!

HorseyFly91- Possibly not the Slytherins...but they miss their Mudblood...don't they? They have to pick on someone...and with their four main victims not really anywhere to be picked on (considering how they all spend most of their time at Mungo's) they kind of can get bored.

SpicySuga-I'm flattered, thanks for reading!

Dark Fire Chain

HarryAndHermioneShouldBeT

Weasel Girl-Thanks for reading!

SlythrnSecret822-Then I for one am glad you found it.

LonelyMagician

Lauren

PoTtErRuLz140

Dan-Fan2007

Alouette-Thank you so much!

Anna-Nanna

BitterRoseMary

Melody-Good suggestions...

Shining-Brightly-The prospect of my story being almost perfect...oh...wow...thanks so much...I'm so flattered!

Harmen- Okay, I got so many reviews from you, thanks! Okay, to the first review, I got for Chapter 3, my reply is this...don't worry about how my days are...they are better than they used to be...although...they still suck, and...I had to portray Hermione as one of the guys to Harry...because that's how he treats her, and that's what gets to her so bad...okay, next review from you...

Chapter 6, Okay...my whole life story is scattered throughout the chapter in my replies to the reviewers, if you really want to know...just look through those...

Chapter 7-She doesn't want to go to Harry, because she knows he already knows...she'd just bring more attention to herself if she threw the fact in his face, and she doesn't see them hurting without her...she's hurt because in her point of view...they are IGNORING her...I haven't really heard Carousel from Linkin Park...I know...it's horrible...but...isn't it on Reanimation? If it's not on any of the CDs, then I'll have to D/L it whenever I can...

Okay, Chapter 8-everyone's afraid of Hermione, they are afraid to say the wrong thing, and they don't realize how severe her depression and self-mutilation is...but they find out in the end...

Chapter 9- Yes...thanks to all my reviewers, I am kept pretty happy in at least one point of my life...Oh...and Linkin Park rocks...they are my favorite...sees a picture of Chester Bennington and faints My favorite video is for Breaking the Habit because it brings two of my favorite things together, Linkin Park and Ainme!!!!

Chapter 10- Yes, but sometimes the past helps to make the future more understandable...but I'm saving that chapter for later anyway...

Chapter 11-Ibuprofen is pronounced eyebeeprofin...it's a type of aspirin, or Tylenol, okay...screw- the explanation...it's a painkiller, for headaches and such...yeah...

Chapter12-I don't think I got a review from chapter 13 from you...did you read it, or not have anything to say?

A/N: Okay, I know you all probably hate me for spending so much time on the reviews, so I'll try to make this chapter extra long! Take much heed of the word TRY though. Okies, that's all...I think...enjoy!

The mediwitch's eyes widened at Hermione's comment and she quickly shooed the four visitors out while flicking her wand to where an already written on piece of parchment popped out, immediately zooming past the heads of the shocked guests.

Professor Sinistra's eyes were as wide of the others, but she responsibly took charge and rushed her students out of the hospital and into the alleyway, quickly taking out the portkey and holding it out, while the other three reluctantly took hold.

Back at Hogwarts, the four stumbled as they hit the floor in Dumbledore's office hard, but not hard enough to fall. (they finally got the hang of it after the 21st time of doing it) The students immediately clung to each other, Hermione's words still echoing through their brains. Professor Sinistra strode to Dumbledore's desk and handed him the letter she had been writing when Hermione had declared that dreadful statement.

Dumbledore quickly read over the letter and looked up, "What did she say? You stopped right here." Dumbledore brandished the paper towards her, letting her see exactly where he was asking for the missing information.

Professor Sinistra didn't even look at the letter, knowing what she had left off. Her face became pale, her expression worried, and her voice wavered unevenly, "She said that she was supposed to be dead." A tear dropped down the teacher's cheek.

The students who were listening all fell into each other at the restating of Hermione's words. Dumbledore dismissed them and sent Professor Sinistra to the hospital wing for a pick-me-up potion before closing the door behind them without a word.

The three slowly let go of each other and began the climb to Gryffindor Tower slowly. They didn't wan to face the rest of the Gryffindors yet, they knew questions would be asked of their visit. They each climbed through the portrait hole, one after the other, and in a daze the three went up to the 7th year boys' dormitory.

Ron locked the door and took a seat on his bed while Harry sat on his own. Ginny slowly sat on the edge of Neville's and stared at the two, she could see color slowly coming back into Harry's paled face before suddenly he stood, anger taking over his earlier sad expression.

"Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy she lived? Doesn't she know how we would feel if she had of died?" He kicked his trunk, causing it to open and reveal a layer of underwear, he blushed slightly and closed it, not daring to look at Ginny before he crossed to the window and clenched his fists.

Ginny and Ron just shook their heads sadly, not knowing the answers. "Maybe, you should, uh, ask her, mate." Ron said slowly, not daring to see Harry's reaction to this.

Harry turned to Ron calmly, and although he was still in a rage, he replied calmly, "I think I'll just do that," before he ran out of the dormitory and made a direct path to Dumbledore's office. He said the password in front of the gargoyle and it jumped out of the way, just as a figure stepped out with which Harry almost collided.

"Harry, I was just coming to get you myself, come, come." They stepped onto the spiraling staircase as Harry wondered why Dumbledore had wanted him. They stepped into the office and Dumbledore held a small rusted trophy, which he tapped his with his wand.

Harry stared blankly and then realized what Dumbledore was doing, "Sir?"

"Ah, yes, you see, I understood you would come to the resolve which you did at one point in time or another, and I had decided myself to finally budge you along, it seems our timing was impeccable." He nodded to Harry and held out the trophy. "You know how it works, I expect you back here by eleven." Harry took hold of the portkey as Dumbledore let go and soon he felt a pull behind his navel, which sped him off to St. Mungo's.

He landed on his feet and took a small moment to catch his balance before he slowly set the trophy down behind some trash bins to hide it. He then went to the window of the dilapidated building and spoke to the mannequin, which let him in immediately.

Harry took the same path he always did, not paying a mind to all the strange and curious patients arriving as she stepped into the stairwell and ran the flight of steps up to Hermione's floor. He opened the door and the mediwitch smiled, it seemed that Dumbledore had sent an owl announcing Harry's arrival. Harry nodded back and pushed open the door to Hermione's room.

Hermione looked up from a book, called _Of Mice and Men_, and set it down. She glared at Harry as he walked to her bed and stared at her. She just looked at him expectantly, not saying a word as he opened his mouth dumbly and closed it again.

Finally, he found his voice and asked, "Why are you acting like this?"

She answered with a smirk, "Like what?"

She vaguely reminded him of Malfoy at this point and his eyes narrowed, why was she acting like this to him, what had he done wrong? "Like that, why do act so angry and depressed?"

Hermione spat at him, "Because that's me. Deal with it." She was fuming, 'How could he dare show up and talk to her like this as if he deserved answers after the way he had treated her, how could any of them have dared show up by her bedside when she was in the hospital? How could any of them dare think she had forgiven them?'

"You weren't like this before, it's not you." He was getting frustrated with her short answers, but he had come here to do what had to be done.

"Things change, Harry, and people aren't immune to change either." Harry groaned at this answer. Why did she always have to be so logical?

"Then...tell me _why_ you changed. I at least deserve to know that." He had said the wrong thing. Hermione sat up as well as she could and her expression showed the fury that she felt.

"Don't you dare say that Harry! You deserve to know nothing about me! You scorned me and ignored me since Christmas! You have no right to come in here and ask of me these things! Don't suddenly act as if you care, because I know you don't! Just get out!" Her eyes shown with a fury Harry had only seen when she had fought against the Death Eaters in the year before. He never thought he would be on the receiving end of this look, but now he was, and it upset him. Greatly.

Harry stood and looked at her, his eyes showing his anger also, "How can you say that? We've been best friends since Ron and I saved you from that troll in first year! I deserve to know anything about you!"

This set Hermione off even more. "Then how come you weren't there when I needed you most? Why did you three start ignoring me? The only three who I could talk to, and you turned your backs on me! How can you stand there and dare say we are friends. No, we are not friends after what you did to me!" She had her fists clenched and was pressing them tight against the sheets, this caused great stress to her wounds and the scabs started to split.

'Don't you know we care? Don't you know how we'd feel if you died?" He asked these in defeat, he was never going to win a battle against Hermione, she had too much anger, so he asked what he had originally planned. Her eyebrows bent in anger at this and she spat at him, literally.

"Care? Care? The only thing you'd feel if I died is guilt! You're only happy I lived to save your own butts! You wouldn't really _care_ if I had died, and you know it!" She was furious with him , and her anger was building, but she wasn't about to bother holding back. Everything she had bottle up was opening with a wave of fury.

Harry looked hurt at these words and he sat beside Hermione, his eyes pleading. He took her hand and she sat in a dumb fury, she couldn't make up her mind whether to listen or whether to shout again, but she didn't have time to decide before he spoke. "Hermione, how can you say that when...I love you."

A/N: So, how'd you like it? It wasn't as long as I'd of liked to have made it, but I had to end it there. I mean, you can't have TOO much in one chapter, and I think y'all will like this one. Now, will Hermione break down and admit the same to him, will she stay cold and not reply, OR will she blow up on him like before? I await your guesses, although, no matter what you say...my resolve of what is to come next will not change. Sorry!


	15. And All Was Well

A/N:is typing very slowly because of computer class stuff Okies folks I'm trying to type the way I learned in computer class...change that to learning.gets frustrated Screw computer class!begins typing in the scattered way I'm never going to do it right! Mwuahahahacoughsputtercough Cause I'm a rebel!throws fist into the air then falls over A clumsy rebel who wears sweater vests...not really...but it is funny! Any ways, enough about the stupid computer class, now about me! Okay, school sucks, but I have met three new anime otaku who also love Harry Potter and that rocks! And two of my friends, Elizabeth and Luna, write on this very site! Oh yeah...I got to check out their fics too...runs to room and trips over threshold as she grabs her one million ton book bag and pulls out a notebook Okies...where is it...AH! There it is...goes to Fanfiction dot net and types in their pen names Okay...I will continue this after I finish reading at least one of each of their fics! Okies, I am back! Did ya miss me? Ent-ee-waiz...I just readed my friends' profiles and I'm jealous because mine is boring! So I'm going to change it before I write this chapter!goes to change profile Okay...I'm finally done...and now I have to pee...gosh...I'm never going to be able to write, am I? Okies...I'm back again...maybe this'll be the last time...NO! Agh...curse my forgetfulness...I'll be back again...I got to go feed my doggie...Okay, back...for the last time!sigh Okies...anyways...about me. I cut again last night...and it rocked...I had forgotten how cool it looked...it did it after I had gotten in the bath tub with only candles and a flashlight to light everything for me...cause I had no electricity...and I just did it... (I carry a blade with me in my wallet)...the blood was like running down from the cut and it looked so cool! Sorry...I'm a maniac...I will stop making my readers depressed...Hmm...oh...yes...before I start the chapter...I'd like to send a shout out to LUNA-My 'senior' if she'll let me call her that...and Elizabeth...and they are both my Drama Otaku! (Oh...and I'm only going to answer reviewers who need answering or explanation...sorry I'm no longer listing...but it takes up so much room, STILL!) Oh, and thanks to all my NEW reviewers/readers! I've gotten so many more! Oh yeah...it seems a lot of you like or at least commented on my cliffies...hehe...THANKS!

Merenwen Losshelin- Her cuts haven't healed completely because they were quite deep and the potion they put on it caused them to stay wounded longer so that they would heal properly...considering she cut many veins and part of her artery...you know...Muggles can't cure that. Yeah, any more questions on this matter, put 'em in your review!

RedHandedLillian-I have missed your reviews, glad you're back! (Oh and the thing with Cho and Harry...I explained, or Cho did, that she heard that Hogwarts was having a Hogsmeade trip that weekend, so she came to Hogsmeade to see him...and I believe I even wrote that she had graduated the year before...if I didn't...then there...I just did)

Weasey's Girl35- My AOL name is Racingrl2007, and Yahoo is Spooty07...but I never get on there...hehe

J.E.A.R.K. Potter- What does JEARK stand for? I've done the erasing thing too...and starving myself I'm getting to...but it breaks yours truly's heart to hear that you do it...wah! Seriously...it hurts me...

Shining-Brightly- I understand...but Harry is stupid...you get it...

Slyphide-Yes, it will be a progressive process

Wow! A lot of people's guesses were close! Way to go!

Harry clasped Hermione's hand and watched her expectantly, his mouth still slightly open and his expression nervous. He hadn't meant to say it, but his mouth always moved faster than his mind, he'd been hanging around Ron too much. He looked at her eyes just as they became unglazed.

Her eyes flashed with anger as her head snapped in his direction. "You LOVE me? What rubbish! All you've told me is rubbish! Get out! Get out! I'm sick of this! Would you PLEASE just stop toying with me! Just...just...stay out of my life!" She screamed this in a rage and Harry could tell by her expression and her bent eyebrows that it wasn't an act.

Hermione tore her hand from his and stood up, leaning on the table beside her as she stumbled to force him out of the room, for he hadn't budged. Hermione's small hands clasped Harry's wrists as she tried to pull him out of the seat. Harry smiled on the inside, for a small tingle was sent through him at her touch, although she was so furious with him.

"Get out I said!" Hermione screamed stumbling a bit as Harry's hands found her waist to hold her up; she was too weak to stand yet, and especially not use as much strength as she was trying to do. Her scabs had opened and blood was trickling down her arms, but she ignored it as she pounded her fists on Harry's chest. Tears began to stream down her face as she pounded all the more furiously.

Harry looked down at her and frowned, he had just proclaimed his love for her, and she was still angry. He knew nothing else to do, but he wasn't going to leave. Harry could tell she was becoming weaker so he put a small amount of pressure on her waist and lifted her a bit off the ground, which was easy, because Hermione was so petite and much smaller ever since she had begun cutting herself.

Harry cringed as he noticed this and fought the tears welling in his eyes, not only had the one he loved hurt herself because of him, but she had also turned down his proclamation of love, which he had meant completely. He set her down on the bed, but his emotions over came him, and her tiny fists stopped abruptly on his chest as he hugged her tightly.

Hermione sat in a daze as Harry's arms wrapped tighter around her, she melted on the inside, but she forced herself to think negatively. 'After all he's done to me.' 'But he told me he loved me' 'That was only a lie; he just wants me to forgive him.' 'But what if he meant it?' (Don't we all just hate internal conflicts?)

Harry could feel Hermione shifting under his weight, but he didn't bother to let go, it felt too right. He didn't care if she hated him, at least she knew how he felt, but, he felt that it wasn't enough. "I'm in love with you Hermione Granger, you can hate me if you want...but I'll always love you." (Oh...how sweet!)

Hermione stiffened at this and then she let all her weight fall onto the boy who lived. She couldn't help it. He had said the words she had wanted to hear from someone...anyone...especially him...from the beginning. Maybe he was telling the truth. And if not, then she'd just be called a fool, she didn't care. She felt she had someone now and she began to cry. She cried heavy tears of relief and pain into Harry's chest.

He moved himself onto the white sheeted, with a few red spots from the open wounds, bed next to Hermione so he could hold her better. He patted her shoulder blades with one hand and rubbed small circles over the small of her back with the other as she continued to sob into his chest.

His whole body hurt for her, it seemed to him that her body was too frail to take on so much pain. He hated himself for causing it, and at this time, he swore to himself to make up for it ten times over. He hugged her tighter, trying to take some of her pain into him and he felt her small frame shake before she let her weight fall into him more.

Harry felt his eyes begin to tear up also and he took a glance at the small figure in his arms, she was so weak, so fragile, something he had never seen Hermione as, but here she was, sobbing into him as if he were her very breath of life, and this thought, although it saddened him, a small smile slowly spread over his face.

After an hour, Hermione's small frame had finally stopped shaking and Harry felt the slow easy breaths that signified sleep. He held onto Hermione as tightly as before and rested her chin on her head lightly. He smiled to himself, knowing that he had already paid back part of the debt he owed Hermione, and that he was willing to continue.

The nightshift mediwitch walked in quietly and saw the two, she saw Hermione's sound sleeping and let out a small startled gasp, "She hasn't slept soundly in ages, and all I've ever seen her do is toss in a fitful sleep. I don't know what you did Mr. Potter, but it's better than any medicine we could ever have concocted for this poor girl. And all she's been through. But, I suggest you lay her down, for her blood doesn't need to stay in her arms for too long, her wounds are still healing." Harry slowly stood and held Hermione steady as he and the nurse laid her down and covered her small body with the white sheets.

The mediwitch saw the small splatters of blood and shook her head, Harry gulped nervously, but the witch said nothing to him as she said a simple cleaning spell that caused the bloodstains to disappear. Harry watched Hermione as her small chest rose and fell and then he remembered what the witch had said.

The witch was fluffing Hermione's pillows as a small bottle swayed in midair, mixing the ingredients inside, Harry recognized this as the medicine that the medics used to cover Hermione's wounds and he frowned. He hated what she had gone through with him, Ron, and Ginny, but it seems there was more to the story than what he had thought.

As the mediwitch carefully covered Hermione's wounds in the paste Harry cleared his throat, which was suddenly dry. The witch looked up as she put a stopper into the neck of the bottle and raised a questioning brow. "Yes?" She sat at the table and watched Hermione, and Harry recognized that this was her job as a nightshift medic.

Harry cleared his throat uneasily again and started, "What did you mean before?" He realized his question was vague, and vague was never a good thing, so he continued, "I meant...what did you mean when you said...I mean...what exactly has she been through?" Harry knew there had to more to it than meets the eye and the nurse nodded, knowing he needed to know.

She motioned for him to sit across from her and he did, nervously climbing into the soft chair, knowing that what he was going to hear was going to break his heart for Hermione even more. The nurse waited until he was seated and took a deep breath, "It seems Miss Granger has not told you all of what passed over the course of her summer."

Harry shook his head, he had not known anything had happened over the summer, and he glanced warily at the sleeping form of Hermione. She looked calm on the outside, but who knows what she held onto inwardly, what had set her off so horribly from her normal self. Well, all these questions were about to be answered for him, so he turned back to the nightwitch, letting her know he was prepared for her to continue.

"You see, there is something not even Dumbledore knew about Hermione and her lineage, but it seems Miss Granger was adopted, and that was a hard blow for her. She felt betrayed, as one would, for her home security was disrupted with this news." Harry nodded, letting the witch know he understood. "She went to her grandparent's house after this, for it seemed they knew just how to calm her nerves and she loved them dearly. Well, one night after her grandparents had gone to talk with Hermione's parents, they were hit head on by a drunken driver in another car. Hermione did not find out until the next day about this, and, as you can imagine, this broke her heart terribly. She sent an owl to Dumbledore immediately, requesting that he do something, for they were still lying in the hospital, holding on by a bare string, same as such as Hermione was when she was admitted here." Harry nodded gravely, remembering that day still caused tears to well in his eyes and he wiped them away quickly with the back of his hand.

The nightwitch then continued, "It was with great displeasure and sadness that Dumbledore visited Miss Granger to inform her that in the state her grandparents were in and their frailty because of their old age that even the wizarding world could not save them. Miss Granger was heartbroken even further at this and Dumbledore accompanied her to the funeral, for she was still not ready to face her parents again. Well, it seems that whence Hermione was returning from a bathroom break, that she came across a childhood friend." The witch looked down briefly, obviously distraught over all she had to tell Harry, but the witch lifted her head and continued, "It seemed this boy had been smoking a substance that disorientates the user before he had come to the funeral, so Hermione came upon him laughing. She had walked up to her friend who informed Miss Granger that he had been the one behind the opposite steering wheel on that fateful night. As it would be, this infuriated Miss Granger, but she kept her anger and grief inside her, as she had started to do at that point in time. But, to Miss Granger's and our dismay, the boy continued, he informed her further that Hermione should thank him, for he was just doing her grandparents a favor by, I believe he stated it as, 'putting them out of their misery'." The witch shook her head with disgust at the boy as Harry clenched his teeth and fists.

Harry had decided at the first moment of hearing of this boy and his actions, that this boy would have to be taught a lesson, and he was sure that Ron and Ginny would like to help, he made a mental note of this before letting his anger slowly seep out so that he could hear whatever else there was of this story. The witch took note of this and waited until his face had returned to its normal color before she continued, "And it seems Miss Granger has been set in disarray since she lost the only family members she still felt close to, along with the fact that she is losing her family and security of Hogwarts at the end of this term also. And, Miss Granger is still upset over this, but I believe you have restored a bit of security for her and for that I thank you, as will many others at Hogwarts." She smiled at him as she looked at her watch. "Oh my, how the time has flown it is well past midnight, and Dumbledore said to send you home by eleven!" She quickly pulled him up, but he protested by planting his feet on the ground, although he did it politely and not in defiance.

The nightwitch looked at him, waiting for him to speak, as she could tell he was about to. "Miss, I'd like to stay at Hermione's side tonight, in case she wakes up and suspects of herself that it was all a dream." Harry wasn't sure where he had learned to speak so properly and politely, but he was sure it was from Hermione, and that because his matters were about Hermione was the reason for which he was choosing the words he had. He glanced at her peacefully sleeping for, and then turned to the witch, waiting for an answer expectantly.

"Oh, I assume it will be alright. I shall send an owl to Dumbledore immediately, I'm sure he will understand." With this she shuffled out of the room.

Harry sat down and took hold of Hermione's hand, which wasn't as cold as it was when he usually grasped it. He smiled slowly at this thought as he watched her sleeping form as her head lolled slowly to the side, a smile spreading over her now pink lips. And all was well.

A/N: I believe I have come to the end of this story, and the continuance of it will be in a sequel. I'm just too happy with the ending as it is, yes. I shall make a sequel, if you wish. But, if you are also satisfied with this, then let me know of that too! Please, review this chapter, as it is the last of this story! imaginary happy tears stream down her face I'm so happy, I feel, so...accomplished. I'd like to thank all my reviewers who stayed with me throughout the fic, and also all the reviewers I got as the story continued. I hope you liked my story! I await your requests for either a sequel or a stay-putter, you decide. I love you all! hugs each of them, a smile on her face I'm so happy!


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